isn't she pretty?

things are on my mind and i cant get to sleep. i miss the times i chase 孫燕姿.

is it worth all the effort? what if you're like huang kaida in the golden path? everything will go down to drain even when its not your fault? is that considered your fate?

do you want to just work hard and believe that you will succeed one day without realising how itf feels to just let go of the baggage or do you just to live for the moment and learn from the mistakes you have made spurring you to greater heights in future?

work hard or work smart?

live for the moment or believe all your life?

phoon yue chin or huang kai da?

what is the right balance?

it sucks to be sick at the wrong time. i totally cannot concentrate. like living dead. eye candy was no where to be seen today. guess wont get to see her till next week. totally not contributing to my recovery.

ms excel makes me mad. i can do the calculation faster with a calculator manually. it sucks. i feel like burning the whole computer now. i wonder which idioit introduced excel. f it.

kelly just msn-ed me. it doesnt seem like she's been gone for 5 months. time flies. all of us are growing up so fast. too fast for my liking. it means that i'm graduating soon (no more schoolwork), a fresh start. but that also means i must be independent, hopefully i can get to do what i want. i just realised i wasted the last 6 years of my life. it sucks.

i so feel like i should meet phoon yue chin now as i'm reading her blog. she's so cool and smart.

i need a pair of lifestyle shoes and another pair of street soccer shoes. i want a pair of asics running shoes. no money no talk. got money talk rot. sigh.

i hate imperfections. i really do. things that are done should be perfect, nothing less than that. it sucks when i know i can do better after i look back at the things i've done, it still can be re-done but it just doesn't only involve me. it makes me not able to sleep well. being or doing things alone is still the best.

out of our own good, people are trying to impart all of their knowledge to us. but they did not realised that there are more bad than good by screwing us up. or is this how the society works? if it is, i think i'm kinda of screwed up because i still can't handle it. there are so few people who are truly working only for themselves. wonder what good there is after living for almost two decades.

i feel terribly fucked and screwed now.

felicia chin makes me HAPPY! i love her. i want to marry her. i can be her slave forever. woo. she is love. omg, it seems that all girls are pretty right now. crazy. i think is might be due to the lack of sleep. it's ice cream time!!! :D

singapore swimmers are way cute. hahaha.

i was beaming and hyperventilating like 1 minute ago. *big grin*

this might be damn gay. but then i suddenly miss chin wei's antics(his dancing hand movements)but yes i did not forget about kim wei and xiao de as well, just that chin wei cranks me up more. felicia chin and joanne peh makes me high. avril rocks my socks. i'm like girlcrazy at this moment. every girl seems pretty to me yesterday. wow, and kelly is talking to me on msn now. damn cool. it's so late in us now and she's not asleep. bad girl! happy nathan.

my mummy is so adorable at times. :)

listening to if we hold on together by diana ross:

makes me miss al and sw.
makes me miss those times when i was younger.
reminds me of a 14yrs old girl who run 5km in 23mins+ , 10km in 48mins when i just got over it at about 11+pm and now i can't really get back to study.
makes me feel that i'm so lost as i do not know what i really want because i want to achieve so many things.

somehow i'm glad i'm getting used to not playing soccer since 1month ago and exercise by only running, which is the stepping stone for me to embark on an overseas journey on my own. but i just keep looking at record times of athletes, which is a start of another bad thing.

youth and innocence are gone. i've let it pass me by.

i suddenly felt so lonely for a moment when i woke up. christmas is coming. one of my ideals is to be in a house downtown with my secondary 2/6 friends. there should be at least a fireplace, cabled tv and hi-fi or music player with lots of snow outside the pathway of whichever european country or america.

i've learnt that if one do not have the financial capability to start a family (in my opinion, at least $25,000 and a stable career that you are passionate about), please do not even think of it no matter how much you love to have a child. being nagged by your parents to give them a grandchild to hug or cure their boredom is an invalid reason too. you will only make your child suffer. you can make love 10times a day for 365days, just take the necessary precautions. now i don't really have the mood to do work now. it's a fucking 5% and i'm spoiling my damn health.