i feel terribly fucked and screwed now.

felicia chin makes me HAPPY! i love her. i want to marry her. i can be her slave forever. woo. she is love. omg, it seems that all girls are pretty right now. crazy. i think is might be due to the lack of sleep. it's ice cream time!!! :D

singapore swimmers are way cute. hahaha.

i was beaming and hyperventilating like 1 minute ago. *big grin*

this might be damn gay. but then i suddenly miss chin wei's antics(his dancing hand movements)but yes i did not forget about kim wei and xiao de as well, just that chin wei cranks me up more. felicia chin and joanne peh makes me high. avril rocks my socks. i'm like girlcrazy at this moment. every girl seems pretty to me yesterday. wow, and kelly is talking to me on msn now. damn cool. it's so late in us now and she's not asleep. bad girl! happy nathan.

my mummy is so adorable at times. :)

listening to if we hold on together by diana ross:

makes me miss al and sw.
makes me miss those times when i was younger.
reminds me of a 14yrs old girl who run 5km in 23mins+ , 10km in 48mins when i just got over it at about 11+pm and now i can't really get back to study.
makes me feel that i'm so lost as i do not know what i really want because i want to achieve so many things.

somehow i'm glad i'm getting used to not playing soccer since 1month ago and exercise by only running, which is the stepping stone for me to embark on an overseas journey on my own. but i just keep looking at record times of athletes, which is a start of another bad thing.

youth and innocence are gone. i've let it pass me by.

i suddenly felt so lonely for a moment when i woke up. christmas is coming. one of my ideals is to be in a house downtown with my secondary 2/6 friends. there should be at least a fireplace, cabled tv and hi-fi or music player with lots of snow outside the pathway of whichever european country or america.

i've learnt that if one do not have the financial capability to start a family (in my opinion, at least $25,000 and a stable career that you are passionate about), please do not even think of it no matter how much you love to have a child. being nagged by your parents to give them a grandchild to hug or cure their boredom is an invalid reason too. you will only make your child suffer. you can make love 10times a day for 365days, just take the necessary precautions. now i don't really have the mood to do work now. it's a fucking 5% and i'm spoiling my damn health.

this week postsecret's secrets are damn good. check it out.

http://postsecret.com

every small decisions i made in the past might probably leave me with lifetime of regrets or at least the past 4 years.

looking at how those poly students play catching at the taekwando area behind the swimming pool made me realised that i've been stupid to think that all these games are childish. these are the simple pleasures in life when you are with a group of good friends.

killed a fucking army of ants.

i'm still a damn angsty teen right now.

you fucking work till you die.

bye.

24 hours a day isn't enough. i need another 4 more hours. this f-ing sucks.

i wonder if the work is screwing me up or i'm screwing myself up. this sucks. i hate it when i don't get enough slp. i can't freaking grow any taller. i can't exercise when i do not enough as i might die of exhaustion. if i were to join the osama gang, i would ......

evon was attractive today. i don't know why but i'm serious. perharps its because i didn't get to see her like more than 5 days. so absence make the heart fonder?

choice.

always look forward.

try, even if i fail at least i've tried (though it might suck but its better than nothing, its definitely not a waste of time)

be true.

always seek for improvement (but how can it be defined?)

but f projects.

it would be love if it's winter now. and i'm in a house with a fireplace, chimney with lots of snow outside the pathway downtown of whichever ang moh country. and then i'm listening to coldplay's trouble with ten thousand million jellybeans and wine with turkey, bacon, and a soulmate.

love is:















this is not love but sexy/lust.

i'm talking to girls right now. and i dun know if i should tell them what i told them. but anyway, it's been done and it's like what i wanted to say.

actually, i'm kind of looking forward to NS. it's another changing point. perharps it can change me. i want to travel around the world, working or alone or with friends that i feel really comfortable and won't get bored and can talk about anything under the sun including sex or secrets or whatever that is a taboo. but if this were to happen, i need to get soccer out of my system, have other ways to exercise/keep fit and also that means leaving my family in singapore.

ok it seems that i changed alot but i guess that's me. i don't know if thats being open but i know i'm not handsome or pretty or rich or whatever you call it. i'm just another person in this world.

ok, i bet this is scaring people. but i'm still a fucking superficial person right now.