i suddenly felt so lonely for a moment when i woke up. christmas is coming. one of my ideals is to be in a house downtown with my secondary 2/6 friends. there should be at least a fireplace, cabled tv and hi-fi or music player with lots of snow outside the pathway of whichever european country or america.

i've learnt that if one do not have the financial capability to start a family (in my opinion, at least $25,000 and a stable career that you are passionate about), please do not even think of it no matter how much you love to have a child. being nagged by your parents to give them a grandchild to hug or cure their boredom is an invalid reason too. you will only make your child suffer. you can make love 10times a day for 365days, just take the necessary precautions. now i don't really have the mood to do work now. it's a fucking 5% and i'm spoiling my damn health.

this week postsecret's secrets are damn good. check it out.

http://postsecret.com

every small decisions i made in the past might probably leave me with lifetime of regrets or at least the past 4 years.

looking at how those poly students play catching at the taekwando area behind the swimming pool made me realised that i've been stupid to think that all these games are childish. these are the simple pleasures in life when you are with a group of good friends.

killed a fucking army of ants.

i'm still a damn angsty teen right now.

you fucking work till you die.

bye.

24 hours a day isn't enough. i need another 4 more hours. this f-ing sucks.

i wonder if the work is screwing me up or i'm screwing myself up. this sucks. i hate it when i don't get enough slp. i can't freaking grow any taller. i can't exercise when i do not enough as i might die of exhaustion. if i were to join the osama gang, i would ......

evon was attractive today. i don't know why but i'm serious. perharps its because i didn't get to see her like more than 5 days. so absence make the heart fonder?

choice.

always look forward.

try, even if i fail at least i've tried (though it might suck but its better than nothing, its definitely not a waste of time)

be true.

always seek for improvement (but how can it be defined?)

but f projects.

it would be love if it's winter now. and i'm in a house with a fireplace, chimney with lots of snow outside the pathway downtown of whichever ang moh country. and then i'm listening to coldplay's trouble with ten thousand million jellybeans and wine with turkey, bacon, and a soulmate.

love is:















this is not love but sexy/lust.

i'm talking to girls right now. and i dun know if i should tell them what i told them. but anyway, it's been done and it's like what i wanted to say.

actually, i'm kind of looking forward to NS. it's another changing point. perharps it can change me. i want to travel around the world, working or alone or with friends that i feel really comfortable and won't get bored and can talk about anything under the sun including sex or secrets or whatever that is a taboo. but if this were to happen, i need to get soccer out of my system, have other ways to exercise/keep fit and also that means leaving my family in singapore.

ok it seems that i changed alot but i guess that's me. i don't know if thats being open but i know i'm not handsome or pretty or rich or whatever you call it. i'm just another person in this world.

ok, i bet this is scaring people. but i'm still a fucking superficial person right now.

seriously, i think i'm a little jealous that yingjia and grace can go stone. it makes me feel sad. being together with a group of people and do what you want especially in the nature is love. well, i dunno.

i just regret not joining a cca. i should have sign up during orientation because i can remember the senior at the booth is so attractive, who cares if it's on a friday. i'm freaking lifeless now. soccer getting sucky as it's getting very difficult for me to improve. i'm stagnant. it's freakin 1.12am now. sigh.

freaking cool. but i only do that once a week now.

Study: Soccer beats jogging for fitness
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070921/ap_on_he_me/fitness_soccer_vs_jogging;_ylt=AgH4Mp5Sm9bZOrSRz9g800m9j7AB
Diet Change Can Curb Fatty Liver Diesease
http://news.yahoo.com/s/hsn/20070922/hl_hsn/dietchangecancurbfattyliverdisease;_ylt=Akfs3rK2IdnDnkAO60dxXHVa24cA

So, stop eating rice or bread. eat vegetables the whole day.

i totally hate these two days except 12-5pm yesterday. tmr might suck a million time. f.

he's a super handsome boy in red. if i can make out with him. wow!

look at his thighs! damn sexy (and gross to some). he's got super nice face features but he doesn't have super nice abs.

he can't get the ball and want to knock the stupid dumb lookalike kiddo player's head with a smack on his bloody face.

i wonder if i change my sex, will i get into the female soccer team. all her stats are the same as mine except the birthdate. damn. freaking sad.

even sex doesn't interest me right now. this sucks. i feel like getting out of singapore for 1 month to go travelling around a few countries like florida, liverpool, milan and some countryside ah. amsterdam, holland! but with lots of money and someone who i feel comfortbale with to do crazy stuff! oh man. the thought of it makes me so high! woohoo.

i'm so frekaing bored now. i think making out with hilary duff might be fun because she is older than me, rich and mature... and her birthday is in 6days time. so coool. i don't know what the lizzie mcguire movie is all about.

now i know why doing data entry isn't fun at all after a while. it gets very tough and fun at the beginning trying to figure it out. but sometimes it takes too long and it annoys everyone. but when you're about 1/5 done , it gets so tiring and taxing on the eyes. oh man and it's boring esp when there's no music. lucky for me i'm not really a music addict. wth.

btw, i was like surrounded by female working adults on the bus this morning. they're so matured, indepedent, sexy, feminine, smart, street-wise, fashionable, etc. but there isn't any hot guy today. :(

i saw this girl sitting at the 2nd row from the right. she got super long hair like yingjia i think. i only know she wore white and i got a feeling she's from SMU though i couldn't see anything else! after i alight the bus, she know i'm looking for her and she look back at me thru that window!! i hope i can see her again later. wow. way cool! watching channelnewsasia on the bus 153 when there's suzanne jung in the morning makes me happy too.

it's very fun.. how people do/act/think/dress/practice in this corporate world.

somtimes its so fun observing on the bus esp when people look at you then u look back at them and it just continues... mind games. i like! but sometimes i still lose to some people. there's so much more to observe esp the small details when the bus is super crowded in the morning. but i'm so freaking tired and my stomach hurts every morning.

i wanna go waxing. like who want to sponsor me? crap. it's freakingly nathanly 12.05am again. good night.

i am wondering if felicia chin like boys who are younger than her.

she is so sweeet. it's driving me crazy. i just can't sleep. i'm too excited and i'm in too deep. oh oh crazy, but it feels alright.... so damn tired but my damn hair haven't dry. later spoil mood then can't slp. freaking nathan.

sometimes i get jealous too easily, this sucks big time. now i wonder being alone might be still the best. u don't have to act happy if you're not happy to entertain anyone worried that you might affect them... so kill all those with many friends. follow the osama way. way so cool.


playing with pda was kind of fun.










crap. it's freaking 12am now.