it's been more than a month since i blogged. this semester, i feel that the lecturers do not really teach that well or maybe it's just me that can't absorb what's going on though i pay attention in class. the only lesson i enjoyed is the social psychology module taught by desmond wee. i think i'm doomed for the individual presentation on tuesday.

common test is this week and next but i haven't started studyinig. i've got totally almost no interest. i think i might fail some modules. no more a or b or c. life has not been bringing me to anywhere. i still can't take the intiative to do something first, afraid that it might offend/affect others. i've got to know recognise the face of more people knowing their names in school, but that doesn't help. some others i know online did a better job though.

the inter jc competitions of soccer, hockey,netball,basketball, badminton has ended. this time round, i never never saw a match being played. tears of joy and sadness. some people didn't make it to their wish of having 8 years of gold medals on this last competition. some came back and fought for gold, that they reigned for many years. some never gave up despite knowing that their opponent is going to win. some was torn apart when they had to play against their friends from secondary school. it's only just been a week or two... some are already healed, some are not. some are having mid year exams, some are having their after the june holidays.

and i never had a chance to feel like any one of them since 6 years ago. i'm still as lifeless as ever. totally numb living in self fulling prophecy. just like my dad whom i don't even know whether he's improving or not.

i've signed up for the vietnam community service trip in september hoping that it will help me to realise that leading a simple life is nothing bad but good, look at the kids over there. but that will definetely burn a hole in my parents' pocket.

yeah. i think i did a super duper small contribution... but my words was full of mistakes.
jessica alba wrote an entry too.

hahaha. my dream is to hold the hands of jessica alba or keira knightley or kate beckinsale or jennifer aniston walking down the beach.

i can't get my eyes off you... hahahhahahahaha. i'm stupid, dumb, spoilt, short, ugly boy.

i hurt the feelings of an online friend whom has been a great friend to me for 2 months since before the exams start. we talked everything under the sun revealing my darkest secret no one ever knew. i shouldn't have said anything at first. i'm still so fucking judgemental and immature bastard. things will never ever be the same again. i think being hang to death will be my death sentence in future. i have no feelings as i type this entry and i know something is very wrong.
i ought to be shot to death.

it's just two hours back when...

ufo tofu. says:
hey mate, just want to let you know i got into the music course in SP.

ufo tofu. says:
thank God.

ufo tofu. says:
see ya. =)

i'm glad for him although we seldom talk and just classmates for a few weeks. he's on his way to being successful in what he wants. what about me?

i wonder how is lee yeung doing now. i miss him... it's been a long time since i met or talk to him. he's another person on his way to being one famous artist since 2005.

from postsecret.blogspot.com
http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/994/593/1600/memory.jpg

this is similar to how i felt all these years and will follow me all my life.

i did a stupid thing by scratching myself out of suddenly impulse yesterday night while bathing. now it's so painful and there will be two scars on my body. haha.

and WHO IS THE ONE WHO HUGGED ME SO MANY TIMES? OWN UP PLEASE. ANYWAY, THANKS ALOT WHOEVER YOU ARE.

it was so obvious from 11 to 148. you somehow made my day. =)

i think cassandra ng is so cute and feminine.. maybe she can be my sister. then i can go travelling with her too. lol. and i will get to know sandra ng also. wahaha. ok, i'm day dreaming. but i really wished i have an elder sister.

You Have a Melancholic Temperament

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything. You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life.You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you. Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace. You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life. Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times. At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you. You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others.You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.

What Temperment Are You?

Your Inner Child Is Sad

You're a very sensitive soul. You haven't grown that thick skin that most adults have. Easily hurt, you tend to retreat to your comfort zone. You don't let many people in - unless you've trusted them for a long time.

How Is Your Inner Child?

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have low extroversion. Y ou are quiet and reserved in most social situations. A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you. You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people. Conscientiousness: You have high conscientiousness. Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life. Most things in your life are organized and planned well. But you borderline on being a total perfectionist. Agreeableness: You have high agreeableness. You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly. Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone. You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance. Neuroticism: You have medium neuroticism. You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic. Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy. Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is medium. You are generally broad minded when it come to new things. But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it. You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves. You've been deeply wounded in the past, and you're still recovering from that hurt. You expect a lot from your lover - you want the full package. You tend to be very picky. In fights, you love to debate and defend yourself. You logic prevails - or at least you'd like to think so. Getting over a break-up doesn't take long. Easy come, easy go.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it. That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power! The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism. You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world. Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in. You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you? You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways. Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you. As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

i just scolded my sister because she was practising for her presentation which irritates me. i know i almost fell alseep just now. jasmine, i'm sorry. i just hope she will read this one day. it's highly impossible and improbable.

fuck. i just sucks as an elder brother.

i hate it when people doesn't even know how to differentiate their underwear and wears your's.

freakanathan.

it's raining now, yet i can't sleep neither can i go out to find present for ying jia.


oh yes, happy birthday to...
ying jia
zi bin
agnes

i just read yesterday's news paper.
i think education is overrated. it's so expensive now, and what do we really learn from it?
we work just to pay back for it. what's the meaning behind all these? yes, people might do research and accidentally invent something. but will most of them do something like that? just one out of 100,000. i think the rest, they will just continue working, since they can't do something significant.

passion will eventually die off. because no money = no talk in the world. how many people really get to do what they want , their passion? or is the 'passion' slowly built up because there's no other way out? desperation/ a need for money builds their passion.

somehow i feel that we're being manipulated by an unknown someone.
we are killing each other slowly subconsciously without knowing. the process is slow and can't be seen. maybe that's world war III is coming soon. chemical war, so high tech. ease all our pain.

managed to fight off those thoughts yesterday. but my exam revision is progressing real slow. not even half the book yet. i think i broke record by studying straight from 5-3. but i know that i will pass somehow, yet i don' t think i can get an A anymore. and i only had like 5hrs 50mins of slp. i always lose to sleep. i don't know why am i so sensitive to noise?!

nonetheless. thank you, Him.

i think i had a dream but i forgot what it was all about.

i can't seem to differentiate reality and dreams.

i knew i never had a good sleep that's it.

good luck to those taking a levels results today.

i've found another person who share the same birthday as me though i do not know her at all. haha. happy belated birthday atalia. also, have a speedy recovery.

although i might fail or just pass my law. i still want to thank Him. this is my 3rd consecutive day from restraining to further temptations. =)

Thanks, Anmin.

happy birthday to:
Lim Zhi Hao
Loh Nyean Chek
Eileen Kiew

belated birthday to:
Aw Pei Shan
Yeo Pui Sze, Yvonne

went cycling at east coast park with the kelly,peishan, peishan's sister, yvonne,puay tze after econs exam yesterday. i'm getting at least 70+ for it, hopfully an A.

after that, we went marche to have dinner. zhenglong, alex, chong jun, thien hoon joined us.
i saw abel too. he's changed alot, afro hairstyle. ok, i shldn't judge others since i get together with him for so many years. it's just a pity.

i was at civic at 9+pm, maybe i walked past blinkymummy and i didn't know... remembered seeing someone taking the escalator hurriedly on the second level at wisma while walking to far east or it might be my illusion after reading her blog.

i don't know how i felt when they handed me the present at ting bahru before going east coast. it wasn't that surprising that they will remember my birthday and gave me presents. but i didn't think much abt my birthday, so it's a lil surprising that they will bother?

i don't know how to say. nonetheless, i appreciated it alot. it's not much better that it's a must to study for law exam today or drowning in my sorrow alone listening to music last year at this day.

this shirt that they went to changed and caused so much trouble/sianness to the people after dinner. thanks peishan!




a new wallet(which came in super handy since my old and tattered wallet is 5yrs old now) and another new shirt.



thanks alot to those who have wished me.

i'm still struggling.

Melvin. -- [noun]: A level headed person who always makes the wrong decision 'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Melvin. -- [noun]: A person of questionable sanity who starts their own cult 'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Melvin Koo -- [noun]: A deadly strain of projectiile vomit 'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Koo Fu Shun, Melvin -- [noun]: A human transformer (Robot in disguise) 'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

i'm worried for audrea though i only know her online. but there's lust? so it's not really considered as totally care. being in a broken family is no fun, she's like left alone with a 'stranger' whom she totally trust now,who might be good or might have ulterior motive behind him. what should i do?

i want to study, i think i can. but if i don't help (how can i help and how i get about doing that) to solve her problem, i feel guilty. i can't even help myself, and i always want to help others when this world doesn't care much. i can't stop.
freaking screwed thinking again.

i think living in america is not that good afterall. i should be grateful.
this is a www how can i go about asking people. but it should be kept confidential. crazy.

i'm addicted to blinkmummy's blog again. i think i having a crush on her. this is madness. haha. imagine if i'm her colleague... doubt so. by the time i graduate, serve ns, get into uni(unless i don't change my course), come out to work. she's probably married. 12yrs gap, never club before, and screwed up thinking of being a pri sch kid once again.
ah. time to watch LOST. something to get my mind out of all these thoughts i can't solve and that is slowly killing me every year.