went read her blog. she didn't write new entries. wonder how she is now? she seems blur blur de.. the last tag she tagged in the doggleboard. 'new year le?' what's supposed to mean? anyway, yesterday, i had a dream ba. i not sure is it a dream also. but i remember i thought of her. and adidas shoes also. i think most probably is superstar ba. i really can't remember liao...

during the first day of new year, i watched show on chnl 8. all those shows really show me what true love is. i hope i can be them. esp louis koo[ i have e same surname as him, and i like him too. i think he and thomas ong have the super boyish look alike face lor. i like.. handsome sia].. but if i were in his shoes in that show, i wouldn't know what to do also. but he broken his promise to the main actress[ is she maggie cheung? she's pretty. weeeeeeeeeeeee. wee.] cos there's still lust in him. only after that he realised that she loved him so much. i dunno why girls so wei da... and guys are always not the faithful one.. and i'm a guy myself..

hmm, the show that alec su acted in.. i like the attitude of the elder bro. and i hope to have his attitude, except not to learn bad and join traid society...
oh ya, the way my uncle sleeps is very very scary. it's like every millisecond he sleep, we worry for him. his snore is so loud that the whole house could hear it. but the point is, actually he breathe with his mouth. that's why. his whole stomach will suck up and suck down. like how the way u get punched in the stomach.. it's like having breathing difficulty when he sleeps and he actually dun know that... actually, he knows it. but he din want to go see the doctor. it's sooo scary. he's one of the uncle i like and can talk to most of the time. other is like always wan to win de, show u that they're better than u in everyway. esp soccer also want to win. ya, cos they bet ma. so they surely know more. i dun really watch soccer for the past few years liao lor..

well. second day of new year. and my parents are not too happy. i hope they dun quarrel soon. partly becos we came back at 4am yesterday cos my mum helped my grandmother to pray, my siblings' undone homework [ now just finished] and money problem...
and less than 5mins ago, my dad received a call from my paternal aunt. call us that they are going to have dinner soon. and their house is in the east lor. no that they dunno we're always late de. i know it's rude. but it's a part of us in my family liao. haha. well, being the eldest in the paternal family does have some pressure and i hate it. damn, later they will ask me about my result liao. wad am i supposed to say? money money money. sometimes i really wished i was in those third world country, they're so happy even without money. so carefree. so lively. no trouble. know what true love is. and wun betray anyone or anything becos of money.

i hope she is alright.

hmm. i like the song that is being played in jane's blog. it's very nice. and the lyrics quite meaningful.. at least for all those i meaning to chase the meaning. i wonder who sings that song. i doubt that it's not yanzi ba.. this song makes me have mixed feeling. being cared/loved and vice versa. anyway, happy lunar new year to everyone.

*-msx.rosy `_我 想 和 你 *[一 起 ] -- [ x ]



*-msx.rosy `_ *[] --[x] says:

going to play soccer soon. i'm quite reluctant go cos i have to wear shorts and show my ugly legs on the bus. there's stubble already. and another reason is because she's online now. her nick is 'wo xiang he ta x [ yi qi ] '. she loves bougie. i wonder who is he/she. i hope she's not that pissed already. how i wished i'm in nan chaiu high. then can go chinese new year eve celebration in sch and see her. talking abt it, i wondering who's going back. and shld i wear jeans if i go back. then i will not have enough jeans liao. anyway, i think i should get going already. hope she will enjoy today and tmr cos tmr they will have idg outing. and if i go compass point. i hope to see them. but i doubt so, as i will be at home since i bought my shoes.

yes, i bought the shoes myself with my bro. the first pair of shoes i bought myself without my mum. and this is the first pair of adidas footwear i bought. yes, it's quite flat inside. and rather cheap. so i bought it. i just had to pay $2 more. heh. soooo good. it's adidas court supreme M. white/aluminium color. at first, i hope that it was a multi purpose shoes as it has the word 'court' in the shoes ma. how i know turn out to be a tennis shoes. but then the box state it's 'lifestyle' category. i begin to like white shoes. i duno why. it's already been like that since i bought the nike air force one. air force one production already been stopped i heard from the shop salesperson. and nike terminator low is in trend now. anyway, i can wait for wear my new pair of shoes and spoil it by playing soccer. =X haha.

i dunno whether i'm missing her or thinking of her. i'm confused.

paul wai finally have a handphone. though not colour one, but then it's still good. at least he's happy. and then i find him very good. the part is that he doesn't have a hp but he didn't care if he was like being extra or what.. so now with a hp, life will be different for him. i wondering whether rosanne working today anot. cos she was online at 3+pm ba...

i didn't know i was using adult fare till kevin mentioned it just now. the sp open house trip was wasted. went there but didn't even ask anything. actually, i think their main aim is to go there to eat at the fast food restaurent. and we did. after roaming around, we went back. when i reached queensway, i started to replied joyce's sms. i should have done that earlier. she didn't reply back. i hate it when i just want to sms, but then something irritates me. and the orginal meaning of what i wanted to reply back is gone. i hate it. why can't my brain just remember all those things. i hate it that i just can't reply her back when i was in sp with alex they all. didn't want them to know and i feel so 'extra' smsing. everything was wasted today. queensway, there's no size of the shoes i want. the color i want isn't there. went back to shop then funan. it's the same old thing. nothing much. i just topped up my card less than 3days ago. now i spend abt $7+ on travelling. that is infuriating. went youth park. it was alright la. wasn't that bored. but i dunno why they say it's bored. anyway, i almost was unfaithful to rosanne. lucky, i saw the guy with the girl. so i assume they're bg/gf. ok.. dun talk abt this le.. later i keep thinking..
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i'm still thinking what to blog. at the same time thinking abt the girl liao. she from np one.
damn.
digress.
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ahh. i dunno why cheeheng is like that. not 'bu shang' him. just that there's always chance for him to show concern for her. but he didn't make use of the chance. i know kevin is angry with chee heng, cos it was open to public. but we paid $15 to watch it. ok, i share the $15 with kevin. but chee heng paid the most. 7 tickets. cos of her.... i pity him. but then... ok, i have no say.
i know he meant well for ginnie. at least it was for the tsunami fund... so i'm not that angry or what. in fact i'm not. just hope i did a very very duper small part though we got goodie bag. hah.

stupid brain. i still abit thinking of the girl. but she looks familiar and stuff. but is not shu hui from yzutld. funny..
i need to see my collection of her pic liao.
where's the 1/2yr i stated in the blog. it isn't a week yet.
i admire ed...
shitified me.
ok, i just ranting away again. ignore me.
aiya, bye. talking to forewall.

i'm wearing a pair of jeans now. it's so uncomfortable. now i know why pple wear baggy instead of just fitting jeans. it's so tight. and if i get a wedgie, it's so difficult for me.. unless i go to the toilet. and that sucks. cos it takes up alot of time. and i think i know why the other pair cost $10 more. cost it's in original blue. and abit white.. faded in the centre in a line. aiya, i dunno how to say la. but then it's like it looks nicer. i like that color. i thought of wearing it just now. but then cos i wore this black one already, and it's sweeping the dirty floor. how can i put this pair back into the closet? hipsters are not so comfortable after all. but the normal type look awkward. cos it will make the butt look big and out of shape... eeeeeeeeee.....
if i get a pair of shoes, i will wear that pair of jeans maybe on sat. not too sure. see how first. and it's time to wear all my new clothing. next wed is new year. weeeeeeeeeeee. time to collect ang bao. but it will be all reuturned to carlvin kor kor. i wish they could sell a pair of white/white nike dunk low for like $90+ . and i will buy it. *prays*

the virus thing is gone. phew... anyway, i regretted one thing i do. i always regretted the things i did. lucky, only my right leg is shaved. there's so many ingrown hair. and cuts and scars, i did the some ingrown so that the hair can be pluck, it's so painful now. and it looks like mosquitos' bites. so i have to wear jeans later. second time i wear le... haha. i'm forced. can show my legs already for maybe a month. to let the hair grow back. yes, i feel so gay now. esp when i touch my leg. disgusted. hai.. i just hope the hair grown back can already. dun really care whether it's curly a not. hope the hair will be straight though. anyway, i cut my hair yesterday. and on sunday, i saw mr. soh kok meng at bt.purmei. haha. i still miss her. i wonder whether did i pass the so called virus thing to her. i'm worried she will be mad with me. sooon.. sat, i will have work to do again. hurray. but then i must save it up to return carlvin kor kor. and help to pay the car also. it cost $800+. more $300+ more than i thought. shit. arrrrrrrrh. i can feel my thighs pain also. cos there's ingrown also. hai... poor me. i wonder in future, if my girlfriend will mind me anot. i'm like metrosexual. worse than backham. at least beckham still got hair...
why can i always do the right thing.
i hope later go queensway, i can buy the shoes i like. with a lower price. *prays*
it will be weird going sp with jeans and slippers.
yesterday, i think is rosanne off day. hope she did enjoy her day.
okie.. i go liao. i'm going to be late.

i've got virus i think. i hope rosanne didn't accept the file. i shldn't have accepted ziyu file's in the first place. shit. i thnk many pple will kill me le. i can't sign in into msn. i really hope she didn't accept the file. i just sms her. really hope nth will happen. i hate virus. they suck. fuck the virus-er... i'm so fucking pissed. how am i going to apologise to everyone. lucky, there's not much people in msn. fuck fuck fuck fuck...

i was in teenfx. and after reading some post. i just put some toothpaste on the big cyst on my right cheek. wooooooooo.... it's so hot. cos it's colgate whitening. maybe it will help whiten my skin. lol. i like the feeling. cos it's hot, means its fighting the bacteria. killing all the 'bad pple' in my skin. they're having war right now. so it's abit pain, that's why that spot is feeling 'hot'. haha. i always believe in pain. cos means the good and bad is fighting. same to muscles. if it's not pain, means it's not growing. not stretch to its max. but too much pain will hurt very badly. i din go down and help for like a week already or maybe more? when is wei xiong going to call me. i need to work work work to earn the money to pay carlvin kor kor back.
i'm also wondering whether she have knocked off already. hope she had a good day. and her new supervisor is a good one, just like baluku..

i just cleared my hotmail inbox. and i think i just deleted a email from jamie yeo. that mail was in my 'junk mail' section. so without thinking even a second, i emptied everything. only to realise that maybe that's jamie yeo's mail to me. well, i hope not.
hmm,why she will email me leh? cos i made a dedication and shun bian ask her to email me lor.
though i know that's like impossible cos she's a celebrity? must have privacy.
i wondered whether did she read out the dedication just now about 8+-10, cos i didn't listen to radio. was watching tv.
huan le tian feng is so funny. was laughing like mad.
oh yes, i forgot to declare. i love carrie chong's voice. it was so a long ago thing. haha. her voice rocks. and she's sweet.
i'm wondering whether is she asleep now. or she's still vexed about her troubles. i hope not. i still think of her. and open up my phone whenever i wanted to see her...

i like carolyn kepcher... after watching apprentice yesterday night. my crush came back again or sth like that. she's married. hoho..... this is mad.
just wondering. nat worked today, means she didn't go to sch? pon? nvm.
shit. i dunno what to say. i was pigging out when i was about to blog, suddenly i wonder. what's her ambition. i have changed my hp wallpaper too.
the funniest thing is , when my mum saw that. she said that is yanzi. i was like ???. or maybe she's pretending. oh well, i hope she will know that's not yanzi but her after my bro took my hp cos i wanted to take zilian pic. didn't expect him to open my phone. lucky, my mum didn't have much reaction. ok, boring entry...

i'm damn late.... not my mum's fault though. it's my. but if she wants to cook for bro and sis, why don't she tell me earlier. later some of them leaving at 11am, play what soccer? how am i going to ask the loan from ivan or carlvin kor kor if i'm already late. i will take at least 1/2hr to reach there. plus, the car's brake is spoilt. how to speed? this is shit..

2 person bday today. my sis and chee heng. well, nothing much. i was alone again till yong kai and yong geng comes. yong kai is really good... i wish we can be best of friends or at least friend with him forever. he's way tooo goood. anyway, cos it was mostly chee heng's class people, so quite isolated la. bought him a rip curl metal bottle anyway. cos i wun know whether i have the money to treat him the next time. oh yes, i accidently touched clarecia just now. it wasn't on purpose. i hope she dun think it that i purposely do that. and hate me even more. at least, i have a line conversation with her.
"sorry.."
"it's ok."
that was the conversation. in english. hoho. ok.
actually, i din know why suddenly i thought of rosanne out of sudden, when yong kai comes. cos he talked to me and make me feel that i'm not an extra. just as the thought of having him as a friend forever, rosanne appeared. well, i hope to keep it this way. though i had thought of clarecia for few mins just now.
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yes, i hope rosanne is asleep now already. she blogged the last entry in idg's blog. i assume she's going to quit her job soon or is it her contract is over? thinking back, i think that was just another entry she blogged thinking of the future.
the o's result which is most probably released on 25feb will be the present for my birthday.. i just hope i get 15. then go poly or jc. wonder where rosanne will go...
i wished i can grow up real soon. so that i can help her ease her pain or sth like that. i hope i can be like ed. or maybe she will choose him rather than me. i dunno. i'm ugly now. i have no money to go for anything... hai.
i wonder shld i borrow money from carlvin kor kor... $200. i decided not to buy any shoes le ba. unless someone is willing to pay for me except my parents. the $200 is for the vehicle maintainence[ it that how u spell it?]. after chiense new year, i can return him back the money... from the hong bao, and the work i will be doing this work. most probably tmr i hope.
ok, i think i go slp le. was awaken by my dad. this entry was supposed to blog abt her de. now i'm ranting away. damn. soccer later... hope i have the energy to play. yes, i'm going to trim my hair. everyone says it's long.
thinking of her face now. ha.

hwlr...

i think i having a crush on rosanne... it's like she's not that pretty after i saw the pic. but then it's like after i saw her display pic. she's like so pretty.. i dunno la... anyway, i hope to maintain this crush for 1/2 yr. i dun ambitious first. slowly then increase... i hope.. pls.. oh well, i think looks dun really bother me as much as in the past.. and i'm chatting with her now. wondering why she took so long to reply. but nvm. i'm happppppppieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....................
i want to follow that guy that likes her for so long. his name is ed.. if i'm not wrong. didn't ask her abt him though. cos later she' will be stressed or sad.
her pic is so nice. well, she's not totally angel though. haha. she just replied. hope i just dun screw up this conversation....
she go and slp le....
i hope that she is willing to let me lend her my shoulders. i really hope this feeling won't fade away. and i will grow taller and more handsome to suit her.

well, i try to recall every single word i thought of... cos only at that moment. my brain/mind is full of thoughts. full of that. when it comes to blogging or writing, it just stop. i dun feel true. my personal diary has just like 5 entries? haha. well, i know if i dun say anything out, no one is able to help. and in my mind now, i'm wondering how jw and wx feel. it's just shit. well, maybe i have a blog just hoping that i wil get someone's attn. but now i know, i feel that what jernan said on friendster is right. i dun think nothing last forever. anything. everything. pple do betray themselves.

well, i just rejected jiawang and weixiong to go swimming. they have changed it to the afternoon. i think most probably for me. or maybe not. i'm going to play soccer later though. not really wanting to go is because, i want to read every entry rosanne blog in her's and her friend blog... just want to know more abt her. but then i dunno what's the use. i dun see her real life, just online. and i know i'm not a good chatter online. maybe jw and wx is angry is me. not too sure. but how can i like stop worrying and think that they're not angry with me. if they are, maybe i shld treat them to a meal? this idea just struck on me. however, it's again like making use of money to cover every single shit. i've become a worst person...

today was tiring. and i pissed rosanne off i supposed. i dunno what's wrong with me. joyce was the day before. moodanfeb hates me now. cos i dun want to open hp line for her. but i dunno her at all. well, maybe i'm just a selfish bastard. i dunno. i'm tired. i have a feeling that this part of me will follow me till poly or even an adult. maybe it's fated. maybe before was just part of a happy memory that i didn't cherish. all i want now is to turn back time... everything will be different. i wished i was a baby again... i hate it... i'm trying so hard but to no avail... well, maybe i'm self-pitying myself. such a loser. pple who read this. pls comment. to wake me up. to curse me. to praise me. to do anything to me. change my life.

i'm just wondering who will read it. haha. cos i din give anyone my address at all.
i dun seem that sad now that i'm blogging. and i dun feel like blogging anymore. i just cant write to express myself when i'm sad. no one can really understand me anymore.

com got virus. o's is halfway thru. haha. i communicate thru sms now. so byebye.. haha.