today's weather is very good to spend it outdoors wiht your love ones. but i dunno what to do.

and i really like ying jia. her 'ah lian of a kind' photo inside facebook. oh so pretty and cool, if i'm her bf i will feel so good. tatoo and sheesha! double combo!but i dunno how to sustain a conversation with for long. ah. ok, she just signed out. want also cannot talk already.

how weird i thought of yj and mich the last two days too. new zealand. wow. so cool.

ok i know nothing and act as if i know everything sometimes. so now i know its my 'retribution' when people laugh at me. its so sad when you are lousy/ugly/or whatever. trying to learn is always not easy. crap. i dont have innate talent.

i'm feeling so disappointed with myself right now! i send bday greetings to yc at the wrong day. i'm so sad. i think i made a fool out of myself but she still appreciate it. she's such a nice person/blogger.

i think my only resolution now is to be less vuglar and not throw tantrum at my mum. less than 5 vulgar words from my mouth when i'm not working. how weird i do not sprout any vuglarity during work. maybe is my skeleton in the closet. kind of f up. i wonder if my future partner is like my mum... ah. anyway, it doesnt matter cos sooner or later she will leave me if i continue to f up. i jsut read phoon yue chin blog and i really like her work especially the chinese entry. she is so cooool.

oh yes, i just talked to evon on msn. it was cool too. i need to stop hiding behind the screen and do all these in real life. ok, i just feel like giving her a hug now. no lust involved.

good night. now, i think of xd and subsequently the rest of theclass. weird...

ok, i just realised i used like many fs in this entry. bye.

was sitting down and i felt my chest was uncomfortable. i dont really know what is going on but they diagnosed me with nothing wrong though i have slow heartbeat like 1-2mth back. i think something must really happen before they will take action. its just so freaking weird. this is .........

on the other hand, i just knew that my ligament is not torn. so i'm very thankful for that. however, i do not know how true is it. because my mate had his ligament torn, but nothing was done. no op. no nothing. so ironic.

went to mustafa. made me very high and i didn't know how to go around shopping. i want to buy that casio watch. hahahah. seldom i see non digital casio watch. damn cheap and classic and nice. like wow. too bad i've got a digital one already.

i've very happy with my buy. hahahahah. i like it alot. boxer shorts. that is the one and only design left. ok, maybe i should start a underwear collection of the different brands soon. hohoho.

one lady in blue or black satin dress with denim shorts was smoking while jaywalking across the pedestrain. luckily the malay motorist slow down. i wonder what will happen if his bike hit her. ok, the main thing is. she still smiled at him and smoking away. she was so cool. i seriously salute her and her smile was so mesmerising. for a moment, i wished i was her bf/cousin/younger brother. i dont know what. ok, i dont know what i'm talking right now but i like her already. i'm starting to think she is about the same age as zhang zi yi. hahahahha.

i think there is nothing wrong with sunbathing. i would want to sunbath if i can to get a even tan. she makes me feel that i'm normal because if she's so pretty and she has a 'slight bulge' at the tummy area, then i'm normal too. all along i though i was freaky fat because of that bulge. kinda dumb. i hope she won't get defeated by these paparazzi. way to go zhang zi yi!

nowadays my pain threshold is getting lower and lower. somehow i'm starting to bleed more as i rid the hair. i'm starting to feel that my immune is getting worse and worse as i grow older. but the peak of health of a normal healthy person is 24. i wonder if i get any diesease/illness or something.

i seriosuly hate waking up every 2-3hours every night and look at the clock. it just happen. hate to be so tensed.. luckily my cough medicine have been working well for me these few nights.

i also gotta make it a point that i wont go botak anymore because people will discriminate u no matter where u are. public or org.

seriously, i wish to be a girl sometime because guessx3 is on and these girls are so powerful. i want the power of a girl. it can make a guy go crazy. so cool with tattoo.

ok, i'm starting to write for others to see again. shall stop here.

god bless all

ok, i decided i like natalie portman too. she' so so so so so so so X1000000 smart! psychology. 5 langauges. oh so attractive.

dont worry about growing old. grow up.

men make love to woman to seek revenge. (ok, dont get traumatise, not all males are like that)

emptiness kills slowly.

ok, i sound like a 12 year old kid. byebye.

how to become closer to everyone. what happens when you become closer but cannot help to solve the problem, you will feel useless or irritated or don't feel like bothering at all. disappointed with yourself, and then the friendship wont be as stable anymore cos when people tell you something they expect (at least most of them) help... unless really connected, then emotional support can help. ah, then gotta learn how to be good at everything now. wow. scary.

elegy is nice. but some parts i still dont understand. gotta learn how to watch more of such movies. so artistic. salute penelope cruz. i have a crush on her already.

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/afp/20090101/tls-newyear-britain-health-aeafa1b.html

i suppose i cannot make any resolutions since after reading this article. but still;

ankle recovery
join more races
less abdominal fats
more happy (glad that i feel i'm more myself around poly friends)
stop thinking of those two vicious cycle
grow taller
no signing on (comfortable but scary thought when i think of it)
be myself in front of more people (but not irritating them)
give hugs to more people esp kw,evon and 2/6 people (friends and family)
phuket or some other place close to nature overseas
people around me to be happy
love myself
health of parents
maybe stargirl?
maybe driving?

ok, too greedy and none will come true. time to try to slp.
just received kw's sms. wished he can my smile right now after reading it. and one more last thing to add in to the wish list for now: more spontaneous. if not , my mum will say so fierce and serious.... no girl like.

god bless.

the beach party crowd was not as crowded as i expected. overall, it was still quite an enjoyable experience.

i did it again. i controlled myself. i should have been more spontaneous.
dunking tank. foam pool.
i am not like that by natural. i am quite a slut yet i dont act like one because i keep doubting my own body or think how people will judge me. i like my body one day and dislike it the next day. everybody have flaws but i just don't want to have any which is impossible.

salute those girls who bare it off. even those who have clothing on also expose some other parts of their body. they have those confidence that i don't have. think i should go out more so that i will become less lustful. is it 'unfair' that males are clothed and females are exposed to so much danger? they should put it mandartory that guys should be topless.

i am starting to dislike my body especially my legs. i know i'm not but i just cant stop. wonder who will accept me for this. if i can reverse time, there is two things i definitely won't do because it is gone forever. my spouse will be not be able to get the best out of it. though i most people say they wont mind but deep inside i know somehow it matters to a certain degree to sustain a r/s.

ok, i just keep going on. this is not exactly what i wanted to type before i shower.
no regrets on getting the tattoo but wished it could be lower to the hipbone so it teases and looks more sexy.

thx evon, jiayi, xiaode, chinwei, ben.

life's been rough but i hope everyone's morale and mood will be up and welcome the new year with a smile. hope later will be good. sorry about not celebrating it with my other friends but i know they will be glad for me because i'm going to do what i feel/want/think like doing. sleep well all.

seriously cant wait to get sacked this org.

allison stokke
melanie adams
stephanie rice
rafael nadal
lebron james
liu xiang
usain bolt
ryan babel
maria sharapova
dana torres

reading the sundays times top few beautiful athlete makes me feel sad.

and 22 to start is real old. wish i can restart life again.

saw myself in the mirror for a good whole minute and for a moment i really hate my cheeks and chin.

help me get pass this stage please. so many others are feeling the same as me but why?

please save me or any one them who needs help.

god bless.

sometimes i jsut want to restart life again. but then again, i will not get to know all my friends now. how ironic. some things are just irreversible and you just got to live with it which will makes u more down to earth but it will hurt as always.

wonder what will happen if i didnt declared any injury. maybe i might be chee heng's buddy.

ok, time to slp. good night all.

i just hope everyone have fun this new year's eve even if i'm not physically with any of them. i hope the way i type or reply stuff won't offence anyone with or without those singlish. i didn't mean anything.

torn between siloso or 2/6 pple. ok , more of joy actually. but yes, siloso please. just hope i won't die of heart attack. i want to be more my naughty self in a way, but hope i wont go around doing the wrong things.

i always have this thinking that i might die of heart attack one day. i do not know why.

i thought today is 27th december and i sms grace kwan. ok, only when she called i realised it is 28th. ok, i'm so so so dead. wanted to ask her and yj where are they but i just got defensive and kept saying i mixed up the date. i ought to be shot.

ok, i got to sleep now. bye. evon just sms me. going to read the sms now. hehe.

i feel most of us keep working to fill up the void in our hearts.

it applies the same to dressing up.

the song in yj's blog is nice. and i envy her. so pro. but maybe i should find out more of the sufferings first before i decide if i really envy her. but still..... cool.

weird i don't know why i can't get high nowadays. maybe maybe i might hit menopause when i'm 30. still can't figure out why almost everyone is nice.

happy boxing day all.

with wishes,
melvin

bought food for my brother and saw a girl who is helping out her family(if i'm correct). she's wearing a yusof ishak tee. she's taller than me. she's does not induce lust in me initially but she's pretty. helping out on christmas day is one good virtue. attractive. makes me feel i'm so superficial and f up. oh, i should be her friend and learn from her.

on the other note, i like avril lavigne. she's on tv1 now. after that going to shower. sorry xd.

ok, just ended. hahahha. just wished i'm avril lavigne's. she is just so attractive, i dont care what others say if she's angsty or look like a 12yr old.

ok, time to go out and face the world now.

the intense feeling is here again but it's almost impossible. sometimes i feel that i cannot live with blackejetta.blogspot.com another year is coming to an end soon without realising it. i just went back to read her entry about shanghai and i thought i just read it like recently. how time flies...

how far have i gone to pursue my dreams? i don't know. there's always other circumstances that makes my will very weak... i just wonder what will happen if she closes her blog. she's just a very nice girl/lady and i've got full of admirations for her. smarty, witty, sews, rich.

merry christmas all.

joining the safari zoo run 2009 with zheng wei. hope i can make it in time to train. i'm just going for the distance now, no more timing for now in case i worsen my ankle injury.

and i hope zhenzhu will burn and rot in hell. she's such a f up character. piss me off so much. feel like slaping her till her face bleed. yucks.

sometimes i think how good it will be if i'm not born in singapore.

or maybe i'm rather f up as a person who can't cope with changes and not willing to be realistic and still being very adamant on competitive timing, health and everyone but i just cannot/don't know how to handle situations.

ok, i'm f up.

time to slp and shower soon.

i really feel like slapping zhenzhu and robert zhang in the little nyonya and hope they will burn in hell. no offence elynn kok and the other guy.

f up how this world works.

'we just care about those we we care most.. we didnt realli go care about others... '

true...

we may have judge/condemn each other too much, but deep down under we all want each other to be happy i suppose so. it's just how the world works that we have to show our survival instinct to sustain our fragile life. just read joreen blog and ok, i don't know why but i just feel good for her. as in good she is doing well, right now i don't know how to define happy.

another new phrase of life. much tougher as i heard, but i will pull thru it.

feel that i'm starting to type for others to see again. all these trivial matters seem so aggerated when i type them down. it feels liek i'm complain but i'm not. ok, maybe i shld get moleskine soon if i stay in.

there's no need to explain further. glad that i'm learning not to get defensive in e org. f. ok, shall go slp now. later.

yes man is a very nice movie. everyone should catch it.

i saw joanne peh at cineleisure on the second level(World of Sports). she's so beautiful and tall. it's kinda weird i don't get very high as i type right now perhaps i know i can't get her. but i really want to go up to her and say she's so attractive and smart to me and shake her hands if possible. she was with a caucasian.

went to st regis to 'visit' k. sorry didn't have chicken foldover. hope you didn't starve the 10+hrs. we went to the rooms and took photographs. the suite is really very very nice. how i wish my 2/6 people and polymates hold a christmas gathering in the room with christmas trees, boardgames, heart to heart talks, poker, food, etc. i wanna to do that with my family too, but i don't know what ot talk or do something that can get everyone involved and interested, just smile on their faces.

ok. i don't know if i should type this. but evon is attractive when she works because it's like so professional.

everyday, i learn new thing. chee heng asked me to go his house sat night but it's all his poly friends whom i don't know. i want to go because it's been a long time i hang out with him and kevin. but i'm afraid to meet new people though i really want to do so. it's awkward. what should i do?

ok, gotta sleep. i'm so deprived of sleep and water. i'm of 3 color tones now from swimming and soccer today. save me god.

god bless.

my body is already conditioned to wake up at 5+ even on weekends. this is bad... i can't really get to slp again.

reading xd's blog now make me realised that there's something i haven't try or might not be able to do it. his care/love for lien... at least for now, i know i cannot have a long distance relationship. most probably will screw it up.

jeanette aw acting is v good in little nyonya. i was surprised she's 29 now. she don't look like 29. wow wow wow. amazing. hope i will look like 23 when i'm 30 too. i just don't know why ying jia's image will jsut flash through my mind when i jeanette aw. i really dislike eelyn kok's character in the show. i wanna slap her the minute i see her! ah, ok. but it's just a show.

jeanette aw is really sweet and i really like her dao looks (very attractive but i don't know why). i find her kinda cute.

gotta have more trust in others. image change. i can foresee the vicious cycle again.
if it rains, i won't swim. if it doesn't rain, i will swim.
swim already then get a slice of cake for dad.
come back home, then will feel tired and sleep.
but i can't get to sleep because it's too noisy.
ok, he's back home now.

then meet ps and pt.
wanna go the nike @ wisma atria. i wanna buy airmax 90 white/white shoes. got an obsession with shoes now.
watch twilight @ 9+pm.
perhaps i might get to see andeline. and this reminds me of joy. ok, thinking of her is good and bad.

maybe they will stay overnight and i will struggle with myself to decide if i should stay with them. i will be so tired, but i enjoy the company of friends (though i always have dao/loner instincts). and if it rains tmr, i will be so moody because i can't play soccer.

gotta start to do thigns first before others if not there will not be meaning.

$50+$50+$50+clothing i wanna buy($100++) + mp3 = ?

santa...

hope my sins will be forgiven.
i wonder how many people can really understand one another and not judge other? still learning.

i dislike the stubbly feeling because i always think it cannot please the other partner. is it true?

still cannot face the fact that it's a irreversible process. shld have made the appointment for today. just thought i mgiht not be able to make it and it's just any vicious cycle. yeah, go eyebrow shaping, treading, i dunno what. be a gay! woohoo.

take care all my friends, all the best for postings.
enjoy your weekend.

god bless all.

ps: didn't see the nurse on the bus for abt 2 weeks.

gotta visit nike singapore wisma atria soon.

had a deja vu just now. found the girl i was admiring very familiar. more to type but yes. i've feeling f-ed up and it seems like it affects everyone. ok. bye.

i am not hip
i'm not cool
i'm not the most handsome
i'm not the tallest
i'm not the most muscular

i feel liek going zouk out after elfie mentioned it. so many people i can see. can make me very high. but after that i'll hit the lowest point again because it's not real. it's just fantasy. so many distractions in ths world..... ahhhhhhh. if only i didn't want to be 'perfect', i might be much better off now. too old to try many things now.

ok. bye.

jsut wanna get high on someting.
jeanetteawalike=yingji
jennifer garner
audrina patridge is like so damn hot.
every female celebrity is v hot. i could marry anyone of them.
christmas mood on and off.
hope it doesnt rain today.
time to do something and not dream.
byebye.

i wanna meet elva hsiao now. just like in 2002 when she shook my hands and signed my album. i miss her. she's still as beautiful as ever and so much stronger than before. she's a nice lady.

i did something stupid today that i shouldn't do so i can have a 4.5days for myself, now i'm left with 2.

i can feel that things are not going right. got this feeling that something will happen one day.

i know i'm not as the same as my old self before i turn 15

i think i'm worse than my old self when i was 18

it is very tiring, i can't really fend for myself. i'm too soft hearted. but if i find out it isn't what i heard at first, i will not trust that person anymore.

i'm scared of the consequences that i will have to bear in the process.

i'm still protraying what people want me to be.

i didn't take my pills tonight.

good night.

i'm freaking bored. i have no plans i don;t know what to do. might be going out later. hopefully. i dont know whats going on. freaking me out or maybe not. cure me out of my boredom. this change is i-dont-know-what-is-happening. i'm not pleading for anyone or want attention (which i do in the past when i blog). this is it. well, i can't feel . ok, gotta stop. needa do soemthing and get out of the cycle. its getting worse and worse. i cant stop. i really do. ok, stop. stop. break otu. bye.

gotta fight the devil and not him defeat me. hopefully.

gwen stefani, kate beckinsale motivates me for now.

cast away all the evil temptations.

this week have been a rough patch.

endure and fight away all evil thoughts my friend.

happy for yj.

take care of ur leg evon, don't end up like me. touchwood.

hope you take care of your health jiayi.

hope u're happy kw and cw. way to go.

hope you won't get depressed xd. depression is scary. its a vicious cycle. i know it's difficult to get out. i'm feeling the same way too. wonder if both of us are the same now. its difficult for peopel to trust me i feel. its very confusing, and u can only talk to one, one whom is a stranger but u trust and believe that person is good. its difficult to tell ur friends because u cant feel the say even though u know they wont discriminate u.

elfie, wk, grace kwan, jo, agnes,sj hope doing well whatever u're doing.

ok, i'm not feeling sincere now. shall stop typing bye.

2/6 pple i know i've been less or never think much or meet up. but still hope all of u are well thoguh i feel distant but i sincerely do though i dont know much of all ur personal life already. take care.

may god bless me and all. (though i never pray, its wrong but i don't know. there's no motivation, forgive me)

i can't do anything but regret not going out much to orchard these two weeks. perhaps i'd have the 0.1% chance to see phoon yc in person. maybe she's one of the people in the crowd i've passed by but didn't notice. not that i know her well or in person or anything but by just reading her blog, i feel she's a nice person. ok, she's nice. i don't care what u think.

i've stop and try to stop emoing. i really do. i feel a change, real change, like perhaps i've matured abit more and willing to change. there's just this weird feeling that i've never felt before. i didn't even know what i was doing, really numb. i can't even figure out for a moment why i gave up my seat. i didn't feel anything. is this the feeling of being numb? i can't feel anymore. the conversation with mum yesterday was enlightening but am i not feeling anything? i can't even feel anything even though i'm thinking of phoon now.

the only thing i can feel is the frustration towards my sister just now. how i want her to change and learn. i'm not even doing it , how can i demand her to do so. how funny.
on a happy note, i've bought my casual outing shoes.

god blesss all.

it's so frustrating to not know my condition fully if it's a tear, partial tear or strain. how long should i wait before i can continue my regime. i don't know if i can fully recover or regain full strength.i really don't want it to end up like my knee or ankle. wonder why must i get injured everytime i graduated from an institution. it really sucks. now my eyes might have a little problem too, i'm not sure. seriously, i don't even know or know the reason why for what i do in almost everything. i'm not even emo-ing as i type this. is this called self pity or something? or just numb or i'm already psychotic. going for some retail therapy later, hopefully it can help me liven my mode. being happy helps to speed up recovery. i erally dont know how kaka can get back and become so famous after he injured his spine when he was 18. at least he have a proper rehab program. full of admirations. perhaps he's the special one. let me get out of this vicious cycle.

god bless all.

i just read the first 4 pages of last friday new paper. i don't really think think the teacher is in the wrong. call me horny or whatever you say. civilisation/society seems like a false statement. what is right or wrong? why being topless is a wrong thing? how can we really learn if we're not exposed to it?

oh, we were never ourself once we enter this world. our thoughts/visions are already formed once we are in any country/tribes. oh how fun.... f.

hope i can slp later. it's past 11pm. f.
night.

hahahahha. this is so cool. good. happy. i wish both of u can see me smiling now... it's weird how i can get so high after reading blog la.

shi jun is cool too. anyone is cool.


but, phoon yue chin is the coolest though. she's so pretty and sexy and smart and artistic and everything that u can think of.

go read http://blackjetta.blogspot.com

high. but hopefully, i can get to sleep at night later. one of my classmate got presribed sleeping pills... if i know i should have seen him today. they said he's so nice today. wow. miracle. thank god i survive today. way to go jiawang, u're coming out very soon.

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNaJOWp-R2qhywvdJpXJNk3dBmeseJyIEzQIWX4AlK6ww2ZJmL0QiYcdMZ3Hu1n9WSgjsjWcl7d8alVz2N2FVa37zSxWoJdrEZ8BN1BIM2npumScP2zHOV4pq9akVK4IkMzyKY/s1600-h/enough.jpg

and maybe i might feel this if i let it go...

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiwXUdaH9USZUpucdByj2Ci7uzs_R-7om4nCETEufcUIYJAxXzSsY0oZtDjQhIIdeqpHXqh2JCMePwniabZcIX6GsMAaFEmkUuBeBCHSIUArasXqtuA_JDZWnH7RjghqbmxYD6/s1600-h/direction.jpg

i feel like just letting it go and be a kid for once. can i?

how many of us can be what is being protrayed in the media?
perhaps i should totally avoid media like how the np lecturer desmond wee does. oh so confusing.

is it a kind of diesease when you are so tired yet you jsut can't sleep because u think of stuff almost every day?

ok, good night world.

http://sports.yahoo.com/top/news?slug=ap-sprintershot&prov=ap&type=lgns

this article taught me something.

i just realised something.

i think....due to my insecurity, i tend (if not always) to fuck everything up even though that person cares for me. but i don't really know hwo to diffenrentiate who really care. and if he/she cares, then i should care for them too. but it's always them who sacriface (or maybe not). i dunno.

so much for wanting perfection which is more than i can handle. why can i just believe. i'm losing motivation. tired. can some rich pretty girl(or at least can cultivate emotional attachment) rape me and own me. wtf. i'm laughing at myself now.
hope it doesn't rain today though weather reprot says it will in the late afternoon and evening.

when i go back to sch to swim these 2 weeks, i see students studying/doing projects at the atrium. i wonder how many of them can be successful. maybe 1/10 of them? for the rest, i just hope they will go on and do their thing happily.

there's so many different kind of living organisms in this world. it's so confusing. god bless all.

i wonder what is wrong with being inked. i don't really see it as a big deal. why do people stereotype. why do i think everything is seriously ok or i can't really be bothered? something i haven't really figure out. i thought i'm always weird since i was young.

screwed up.

there's this sec two girl (i think) i see on the bus everyday. she look more developed than the rest and she's not like very sexy. her face is puffed up, her eyes are swollen every morning and the way she sleeps is kinda cute. looks like she didn't shower(not to say i know everything about her) but well heck, cos i don't shower in the morning since i entered the army.

maybe cos she's listening to mp3 everyday, carries a crumpler. maybe cos she's the few person i see that smile and being more active in the bus though she sleep most of the time. her actions are very exagerrated and cute.

i wish i'd try those young and dangerous stuff. wonder how it feels to be more rebellious. perhaps i can learn more from it rather than being a good ol' boy. being hardworking is not enough cos it only drains your energy away.

everyone is so sleepy and tired on the bus everyday, i think they practically drag themselves to work/school everyday. civilisation? it's like going against what we want. going against nature. trying to achieve so much when we can't and screw ourselves up.

there's this new girl i saw on the bus yesterday too. she looks like a malay when i was so close to her while letting her board the bus first, only to realise that she's the chinese girl who attracted my attention the day before. she's not very tall, but she wears a green adidas watch. wonder if i can get to know her better. maybe she might be my motivation to go camp in the early morning for the rest of the course if i see her frequently. using lust as a motivation. wonder how long can it last.

not a very good weather today, i'm beginning to dislike rain.

honestly, i can't be bothered because this are my 'past' feeling for yesterday. i'm writing it down to attract attention, love, concern. or i'm like a phildophile if it makes you happy. i'm not willing to tell anyone anything yet. so wtf. i'm talking to the computer. ok, i dunno what i'm really talkign now. bye.

on my way to from far east plaza to hong lim park today, i overheard the conversation of two sisters sitting behind me talking about their mum who is sick and alone at home. shortly after, their mum called. she didn't take her meals, was sick since friday, etc. they didn't know if she went to see the doctor, etc, etc, i guess they were busy with their lives....BUT

one of them was on her way to meet her boyfriend(marcus), decided to go back home to keep her company. it's so sweet of her. it's a good virtue. she called her boyfriend to inform him about her decision and he told her he was also going to visit his grandma later in the evening too. i don't know if they met up eventually at vivo but i was thinking it will be so damn sweet if the bf go her house and accompany this girl and her mum... but well, he's got something else to do (probably he's in the SAF). i think she also know that i'm like observing her but i jsut wanted to tell her that she's nice... hahahaha.

ok, i'm losing the plot now. the strong feeling of wanting to blog this thought is lost. anyway, the gist is ... their conversation woke up me. i realised wanting to get out of this country is kind of a selfish thought. my parents need me to be here. their unconditional love is something i can't ever pay back and yet to learn. but being here for them is the least i can do. it's something i still have to learn. well, i don't know if i can do it in the end....

i also hope the girl and marcus will spend their lives together forever and continue to be filial.
PS: the sihoulette of this girl from outside the bus is attractive. Then again, most girls look attractive to me nowadays or sexy if they wearing like less clothing

i almost wanted to tell the indian guy beside me in the bus happy deepavali just now but i didn't. his baby daughter is so cute... i thought it will be fun and it somehow made me smile when i saw how all the indians are talking and smiling to each other in 960.


after dismantling my three umbro soccer boots, i realised all the soccer boots do not have real cushion. all they have is insoles, some wooden thing(which has another additional layer at the heel), a stick-on netting to act as the second layer of glue, and small rubber pieces sticked on middle part of the feet. the heel counter is always made up of sponge(1st layer) and (cupboard liek thingy). you will see how much material is missing but sitching and glueing the whole boots is not easy.

ok, i sound like a noob here describing all these thing. but please do not keep soccer boots after the mouth is open. small tiny living organisms are living crawling the wooden parts! how cool is that. so fascinating. it's real. try to open your branded shoes if you decide to throw them away (trust me it's very interesting) or you can donate to me!

happy belated chin wei, happy deepavali all.

ok, gotta shower and FO my assignments due at 12AM before i feel f-ed up again.

i always have regrets.

at this moment, i cant wait to quit this organisation i'm work for.

happy birthday felicia chin! :D

may everyone be blessed with happiness.

i wonder if there's such thing as female raping male?

i think i wanna meet siewping and yue chin and blinkymummy.

think that arm_ will help to change me , but i get more confused than ever. i'm not sure if its arm_ that make me miss m_ friends (fake illusion), or i reall_ do care for friends now (real). but part of me/heart tells me i do reall_ care, juz that i don't know how to express it. wonder if an_one felt the difference.

feels like life is restarting now, onl_ that i'm 20. got to learn about lots of basic humane stuff again because i've lost it since man_ _ears ago doing something i didn't know that i'll want to pursue now that won't probabl_ happen.
dreams, realit_.

if i've got a chance to have an hour with:
mother theresa,
paolo maldini(faithful longest serving pla_er in the same club),
robbie fowler (m_ fav pla_er who isn't doing well now),
kaka(injured his spine at 18 and now is a world famous pla_er),
gwen stefani (faithful respectable lad_ who is so forgiving and have her own st_le) ,
louis koo(criminal turn actor),

ok, crap, i don't know do i reall_ respect e most in this world. ma_be m_ parents? how ironic.

what is more important? all jumbled up. mone_, appearance, character, personalit_, mental, ph_sical, happiness.......,

faith. god bless all.

i wish i can run with joanne peh in today's nike human race.

how far would you go to pursue that?

are you ready to sacrifice and faces the consequences?

are you ready to be on your own if no one understands why you are doing that?

are you ready to fail?

are you ready to presevere right to the end?

are you ready to welcome the new you/future?]

are you willing to give it a try?

i don't really see the need to keep ranting off to the computer after 6 years because it doesnt help.

tired but i just don't know why i'm 'forcing' myself not to sleep since i don't know what i can do at home tmr. i so want to sleep now, i wish i can but things just can't get the fact that i know i'll be wasting my day again and again. i'm not exactly thinking deep, it's been like that subconsciously that i can't control myself. not welcoming this week. to all, please take care of yourself esp with such erratic weather. the world is coming to an end (soon).

just when i thought i was getting better, i got more confused and despondent than ever. i'm just as lousy, lazy, uninitiated as what my uncle, attachement supervisor said. even if i enter the army and get the best cadet award, i still do not know what i want in life. what use do i have? i realised that even i do so much work throughout the night, i'm not sure if it's right. if it's wrong i'm screwed. when i ask before i start everything, i'm told not necessary to know every detail. i'm slow. i've been always less efficient doing double job. so when i shut up, i'm told to ask till i'm sure. yes, i'm afraid to get scolded when i ask every single thing that is deemed as stupid because i do not use my common sense.

ok, i don't know what i'm getting to now. break the rules now? and when i enter army, i'll have to go all over again to discipline myself to listen to instructions and not to question the officer?

end of the day, an obedient child do suffer but it's when they are older. am i right or wrong?

go ahead and laugh at me because i'm that pathetic. i think my life revolves making people feel happier by scolding/lecturing me. good morning world. time to conk off and die.

john arne riise scored an own goal during the last SECOND before the whistle was blown. unbelievable. quite sad. but then that is life. hopefully liverpool will go through by penalties.

i think i wanna add another resolution: go to anfield and attend a CL semi-final.
this will be a life-long dream that will cost few thousand dollars.

god bless all. hope you are sleeping well tonight and not rolling on the bed now.

i like joanne peh's music taste although i don't understand the song but it's so soothing and makes me wanna dance! so sexy! i'm fantasizing of dancing with joanne peh now. like joanne peh is fann wong and i'm the male dancer in the movie. hahahaha. thank you grace tan for pasting her blog address to me. i know i shouldn't be so happy because someone is not feeling very good now. but still, ya. cheer up. actually, i'm feeling tired the whole day. the music makes me wanna slp too. i shall stop here.

PS: nothing much. just wanna say i finally did my first 2 sets of 15 crunches, sit ups and 'cycling' today since 3 weeks ago. glad but unmotivated. i hope i do get back my motivation to do a 10km before i enter army. its demoralising know i getting weaker day by day.

today i saw the biggest ant in my entire life which is half the lenght of my left index finger in the middle of the night.

it's raining tonight yet again. very good to sleep. i want to get to bed right now but it's just this bad habit of 'forcing' myself not to sleep. bad i know but i just like it until one day the doc say my ankle didn't recover well because of lack of sleep or if my life is shortened then i'll be very afraid.

i like the smell of the rain at times when i'm listening to the right music(a1, bsb, s club 7, westlife, m2m, nsync, etc, etc,) to go back in time or just fill my mind with sweet memories from the past.

have a good night sleep, my friends.

auf wiedersehen, und gute nacht

i would seriously want to watch the following matches:

liverpool vs chelsea (home and away matches)
man utd vs chelsea [i don't really care who win though]
barcelona vs man utd (home and away matches)
champions league final (hopefully liverpool vs barcelona)

anyway, i think chelsea goal was purely coincidental. oh yes, it's started to rain now, a good time to sleep. raining reminds me of step up 2. oh so hot the dancers (read: females). moose is kinda cute. i really like how he dance. sexy! he's only 16(real age) and he got to kiss someone 9years older than him! how lucky. just sad i don't have any dancing or acting genes. they're so multi-talented especially cassie ventura. sing,dance,act. really cool. i can only dream of it.

as i'm listening to eileen blog's song right now, i think love is the most bankable thing on earth. does anyone agree?

btw, i think the song is very nice and clear(ok, because it's a female singing). but it is too much for some screwy like me to handle. i'm going to check her out now.

i don't know why i keep wanting to prove myself. opinion from others really matter to me that much? i'm starting to lose my online friends one by one. those whom i've been very close too. i'm in such a bloody mess. ok, going out to meet sec sch friends now. they will help me pull through the day though i don't really want to miss watching joanne peh. i'm such a slut. i can do anything if joanne peh , felicia chin wants me but that won't happen. crazy boy.

reading blinkmummy's blog makes me feel like she's so *thumbs up* while i'm someone whom knows so little about this world. her entries always 'enlighten' me.

i'm addicted to taylor swift's teardrop on my guitar. slow i know. but yes. enjoy.



she's one year younger than me. wow. it's different when you've got talent.

i hate myself for slping at 4++am nowadays even though i know that it will lengthen the recovery time for my injury. i seriously don't know why the fuck do i like to go against myself. i know that i can slping early and waking up early makes me feel very bored but i can go take a swim/tan in the school's pool rather than wasting my life typing stupid entries that doesn't make sense. i bet msot people will look at the picture(esp guys) rather than reading my entries. most people will just glance through it. therefore i put a picture of adriana lima.

i seriously think i'm one screwed up person too. i don't think she's really pretty. jessica alba thighs are too big. nothing is perfect. there's nothing i like no matter how pretty they are. crazy. i even have thoughts of stop exercising and just grow fat and rot and just wish that someday someone will appreciate me for who i am. this is screwed because i don't even feel for jessica alba/adriana lima (one of the world's most beautiful ladies). ok, i really need to go. i think i can't see properly and my eyes hurts badly. i think god might be punishing me because i might have to wear specs/contacts(which i dislike).

what do you define as pure/virgin(sexually)?

i was reading hollywoodtuna when i saw rachel bilson on GQ magazine. so i went to GQ official website after grace when offline yesterday night and saw adriana lima (the supermodel) on their april cover page. since i'm a guy, i went to see the other photos. she's posing nude for them.


taken from GQ magazine official site.

to be honest, i was turned on, wished i'm her husband, etc, etc. but after awhile i was back to normal and i thought of joanne peh in the new channal 8 drama series. yes, i still think of joanne peh though adriana lima have a hotter body (exclaimed by the world).

supermodel are just doing their job, they have to be totally uncovered and male coworkers get to see her entire body. yes, i'm very very jealous! i'll go nude too if i get to see her nude... BUT in this case, are supermodel considered dirty? there is no sexual intention.

in the show, joanne peh sold her body to send her younger sister to study hairstyling in UK. there is no sexual intention too.

in both situations, they both have a choice(we always do) as most will argue. perhaps adriana lima love her body and view it as an expression of love for her body. what about joanne peh? she might feel very dirty as seen in the show, something that will be in her memory till she dies. now we shall look at edison. was the scandal his fault? i don't think so. he didn't want this to happen IMO. even if he's mentally sick or it is an addiction to him, i don't think it is his fault.

look at america... paris hilton. i adore her at times though she can be very arrogant. she's doing well? what about vanessa hudgens(the hairspray movie actress)?

we all have different perspective of pure/innocent/virginity/dirty/filthy, etc.

what if one day you realised that your other half has been hiding this secret from you what will you do?

what if you tell your other half this secret and he/she can't accept it? what would you do?

it is good to know everything, sex, studies, life, travelling, work, finance, property, love, etc. etc. but how do they change your perspective?

oh yes, i want to comment on the 7pm channel 8 series, life made simple aka 'ah wang xin zuan". i find that it's unrealistic. yes, ok i admit that i'm biased towards him because i cant stand his retardation. yes, he is genuine, kind, lovely, etc but he doesn't bring back money. how do you survive in the urban area(city) without money? it's too unrealistic. i don't believe that his love will surpass this factor because everyone in this world wants a good life(love and materialism) not taking care of a retard.

ok, i can't get to sleep now. this sucks. i'm going to stuck tissue up my right nose now because i didn't listen to my body when i've got symptoms showing the past few mornings. i feel like plucking my hair again. i guess i'll really need to go get waxed pretty soon. there will be consequences if i get waxed too. firstly, someone will see me nude too. so am i considered dirty because my other half is the first to see me nude? secondly, i won't want a male to see me nude because it's so gay but i'll be embarrassed if it's a female. or they only have male staff for male waxing? dilemma.

anyway, does anyone know if singapore still sell motorola slvr L72(that came out last june)? how much does it cost and if it is good to use? ok, this entry is so incoherent... i'll go and lie down on the sofa now before my eyes starts to hurt very badly again.

i saw this at the bus stop outside NUH today.

i'm feeling like... i'm on my own again at this moment.

i learnt a new word: inconsolable. :)

i think i'm getting use to this lifestyle slowly. need more time management/social skills to improve, cannot stay inside this comfort zone or else i'll become someone whom i somehow promise myself not to become in future. the feeling and point of view is totally different when you're in this 'experiment' from that of the feeling and point of view of those who are not involved. i was screw loosed yesterday, went to buy a pair of socks for $16.90. laugh at me. hohoho.

god, please let my leg recover fully by this month...

seems like i reach home later and later each day. i wonder when will i fall ill? how will it be from next week onwards? great. 4hrs of slp but i'm not donald trump or bill gates or teo ser luck. even then they are already asleep by now.

i don't like work routine (office job) neither do i like unhealthy work routine (night shift). i like exercise/sleep routine only. but in order to achieve exercise/sleep routine you must get a routine job. it will be a bonus if i can get to go out and meet people to learn/do sports but still can have a proper exercise/sleep routine. how cool is that?

about 27 more days. yeah. soon. perharps. i don't know. time to sleep. good night all.

i'm scared but this world is like that. this society is like that. you can't get what you want. you work = better slping time or worse slping time but worse health (fatter). money won't do you all the good in the world but its goot to have money. so contradicting. seriously, i need the money but i also want my health. what should i do? and it's bad nto to accept it when i start because it will ruin friendship. so what should i do? i'm feeling uncomfortable not doing that time for almost 2 days. should i stop or not? take care xd.

5,10,11,13,14 have things on these days. but is free in the evening except on 13.
still have other dates to confirm.

money or life or social life or friendship or running or swim or my leg or materialism or?

good night all. happy working tmr to all my poly classmates.

i think i must get rid of something before it becomes a habit or part of me. it's a routine to me now. must stop before it gets deeper and deeper and i can't handle it well.

not emo-ing. just read kw's, evon's, xd's, grace's, ying jia's blog and started thinking...

all of us are struggling with ourselves.
we know what is right and wrong by nature and/or conscience.
what sets us apart are our environment and priorities.
this will reflect on how we act and/or think.
what we choose to see also affects our action and/or thinking
who are we to judge without knowing.

insecurities/inferiority/superiority.
i think that's why we all appear different in front of different group of people. this is not what we all want.
all of us just want to be happy.
perhaps this is why people coming together to form an interest group (cca) get along better despite their differences.

this world is so interesting. this is life. it's what my mum said. i still don't know what's on my mum's mind. she's simple yet complex. so cool. and a good wife too (that makes her family too lazy because she's the pillar of the family).

well, maybe we can't be happy all the time so that we can 'experience' life.
unless you're happy and ignorant at the same time then that's different. eg. baby
when you are happy and not ignorant, you are actually 'enjoying and experiencing' life.

oh yes, i realised i seldom blog about my sec school friends/stuff. meet up soon (after i've got enough money to spend). :)

there's something wrong with my eyes. i don't want to wear spectacles/contact lenses. my right eye lid keep twinking since i woke up. this is the first time i'm experiencing it since eons. my left knee is starting to hurt. weird.

i saw rachel tan on SMRT 190 just now at about 7+pm. ah, it's like finally after 4 years i saw her in person again. well, i think she is going to cck and if i alighted at the same stop, i might help her find the right direction so she won't get lost. she's more beautiful(nice tan) and sweet in real than in picture. she's wearing a black long sleeve top, blue denim skirt with white shoes(i can't remember the footwear already) and have got the same bag as jy/jo. i think she's holding a nokia phone but don't know what model, it's white in colour. should i go see stingrays play in toa payoh hall then i can also get to see zhang tingjun in real too? wow. so cool. girls who exercise are so attractive.


oh yes, i saw cookie monster running alone today. he's like so determined or loner la.. sad. i also saw a matured lady with red specs and make up, she attracted me at first. but i realised that she's average looking only. i think its because she looks intellectual and can take care of me. that's why. but i like her nike shoes! it's so nice! i don't know why girls clothes/footwear always nicer looking with the right design and combination colours. guys shoes sucks except for the asics 2130 and kayano 14. i like that metallic red and silver colour. sexy.

then again, any boy or girl look attractive/pretty/handsome to me at first, but after awhile they look average and that includes jessica alba or felicia chin or joanne peh or fiona xie or paris hilton or anyone else in the world. i think it's the personality that make that but i do not believe in some stuff such as making promises with the word 'forever'. i'm scared of commitments and i don't believe in forever. maybe 1 out of 10,000 couples can make it. do your probability and you know it won't be me.


i alighted at the bus stop opposite far east plaza to go borders to visit puay tze & pei shan(but i couldn't see her there). i planned to sit down at the bench to read 'the power of purpose' by peter s. tenes or 'tuesday with morrie' by mitch albom. as expected, it's so crowded everywhere so i went back to royal sporting house to peep at that cute female staff there.


i've signed up for the 5km passion run already. the staff is so helpful! but then i forgotten to take back my change. ah, i could have feast on one mcdonald meal. sad. well, i've treat it as shoes consultation fees. i've got low arch and neutral gait but that guy say i'll slightly overpronate if i go for long runs. he's sexy. woohoo. never buy shoes without tryin them, i'll forever remember it.

What's Your True Color?

My Result: Brown

You're brown, a credible, stable color that's reminiscent of fine wood, rich leather, and wistful melancholy. Most likely, you're a logical, practical person ruled more by your head than your heart. With your inquisitive mind and insatiable curiosity, you're probably a great problem solver. And you always gather all of the facts before coming to a timely, informed decision. Easily intrigued, you're constantly finding new ways to challenge your mind, whether it's by reading the newspaper, playing a trivia game, or composing a piece of music. Brown is an impartial, neutral color, which means you tend to see the difference between fact and opinion easily and are open to many points of view. Trustworthy and steady, you really are a brown at heart.

What are you?
http://web.tickle.com/jumpto?test=colorogt&c=50652

http://www.bmezine.com/news/pubring/20050401.html

i can't do that for love's sake.

'Tom Cruise’s wife, Katie Holmes, drew a huge cheer as she crossed the line amongst thousands of less famous fellow participants in 5hrs 29mins 58sec, according to a fan blog.'

ok, this is bad because i run slower than katie holmes. wow. i didn't know celebrity can be fitter than me. sigh. ian armstrong of 2hrs 40+mins is acceptable because he cycles(which makes u efficient in adopting the proper running method) and is a cancer survivor.

why care about others when they don't care about themselves? like what sawyer said in LOST. every man for himself. that's so true. forget about everyone else. that's why i admire osama bin laden at times. he's doing good to the world. i'll try to go to sleep again. f.

they say money is not everything, but you have to admit that it is fucking important. 7.5/10 is how much i'm giving it. everything you do is related to money even sitting here typing this shit right now. how fucking important...

i'm just wondering what if a man doesn't change?
is it a valid reason that he worked so hard for the past few years and that now its his 'down period', we should endure whatever he is going through. what if that goes on forever? wouldn't we be wasted? why does his partner who thinks they she is always right isn't contributing to all this too? though i have to admit she suffered the most and helping in the physical aspect, but she is not helping in the mental aspect.

if it's so i rather be consistant throughout my entire life and not cause anyone trouble even if i don't get to enjoy all the luxuries in life. what is the point of enjoy all those luxuries when you don't know how to appreciate it? isn't that wasted? why must our lives revolve around others? why is it so difficult to help others? i can't be a social worker. i wonder how it feels to be a gigolo. does he feel loved yet satisfied? will he lose himself because of money? or will he realised that he is actually sexually active by nature but there is still emotional attachment.

well. i guess no one will really bother reading chunks and chunks of words that i wrote. well, i have to admit that though this blog is for me but i welcome all opinions and suggestions.

a man with no dreams or hope is as good as dead. hopes and dreams keeps us alive. i think that is the most basic 'thing'/
even though they are hopefully and dreamy, they should take actions working towards it if not it is of no use. i respect people who step up and work towards it as it is not easy.

we all know that being superficial isn't a very good thing, but why are we still doing that? society... norms.... i really respect those who do not follow the traditions. they are deemed disrespectful. but to me, they are being very strong because they will know what are the consequences to bear that will leave them distraught. what about being creative? why does the government emphasize on creativity then especialy in entreprenuership/academics/work.

i'm getting hungry again. time to sleep but i'm overexhausted now. if this continues, i think i will need to live alone.

because i chose to screw myself up, so am i. no one forced me to. i have to find my own solution to clear up this mess and start anew if not i will always be stucked in this vicious cycle. i must be willing to learn and curb my over-enthusiasm especially when i want to achieve something with immediate effect knowing that it will not happen. over-enthusiasm kills, slow and steady is the way to win the race. i am not a product of a screwed up family, it is just some other obstacle that doesn't break me but make me stronger than ever. i should never entertain the thoughts of evil, it should not even came to me naturally. that is sin. i must learn how to love my body. i must learn how to love,respect and accept myself before others can love me. no one is perfect.

god, please help me especially the recovery of my ankle. thank you. god bless all.
happy belated bday sj.

i don't understand why arts and social sciences and profect & facilities management are one of the most sought after courses in uni! now i feel kind of gone case.

regretted not studying harder for the 5th semester and gave up SAM. it's so near yet so far. now it's time to move on and achieve something different. 4-5months of training for the effort to be paid off. will be starting once i recover. hope i can presevere. god bless all.

felicia chin rocks my socks. stargirl.

I was quiet as a mouse
When I snuck into your house
And took roofies with your spouse
In a nit, and out a louse

And lice are lousy all the time
They suck your blood drink your wine
Say "Shut up and quit your crying
Give it time and you'll be fine,"

You're so nice and you're so smart
You're such a good friend, I have to break your heart
Tell you that I love you then I'll tear your world apart
Just pretend I didn't tear your world apart

I like boys with strong convictions
And convicts with perfect diction
Underdogs with good intentions
Amputees with stamp collections
Plywood skinboards ride the ocean
Salty noses, suntan lotion
Always seriously joking
And rambunctiously soft-spoken

I like boys that like their mothers
And I have a thing for brothers
But they always wait till we're under the covers
To say "I'm sure glad we're not lovers,"

You're so nice and you're so smart
You're such a good friend, I have to break your heart
Tell you that I love you then I'll tear your world apart
Just pretend I didn't tear your world apart

I like my new bunny suit
I like my new bunny suit
I like my new bunny suit
When I wear it, I feel cute


ohhhh. ellen page is so pretty. 21 february. pisces. older than me. rich.

Lesson learnt: Go to Running Lab @ Funan IT mall before buying the shoes. They will help you see what kind of feet and biomechanics you have before recommending the right shoes for you although it's a tad slightly more expensive. It will benefit you in the long run by keeping you more injury-free especially when you do long distance training. If you are thick skin enough, you just go there to have your feet tested on the threadmill and then get advice from them before going to queensway to get the shoes.

brand new Asics 1130(Mens) is for sale.
US size 8; EURO 41.5, 26CM (regular fit)
Colour: White/Platinum/Chili Pepper.
It's an entry level shoes for runners with
slightly more than normal pronation with normal arch feet.
It's slightly too small for me. Hence, i've decided to sell it off when i collected it 3 days ago.
It's going off for $135. Price is negotiable.

More information at this website.

i don't know why all the bad things happen all at one time. when it's bored, it's really bored that i feel like crap. when i'm busy, i'm so so busy that i'll have to reject some other activities. i wonder why is that so.

don't know if i should take up relief teaching? i can't teach for nuts, forgotten all my e.maths in sec sch. i don't really want to see pri sch kids.

injury + hungry + lost + feeling bad = v moody

i don't know if i look forward to tomorrow and this coming monday.

cropped off nikewomen.com.sg

very nice right?! you get sponsored a free sport trial session. there's like almost ten different sports for you to choose from. what's better is a healthier, sexier and happier you. this is love.
so why not give it a try?
more information inside this website

I'M ONE HAPPY BOY RIGHT NOW (excluding the injury).

i dislike rain in the day.

i used the atm card for the 5th time since i got the on 20th feb. now 1/5 of my savings are gone. so cool. i knew this will happen but not so fast!

i don't know if i made the right choice. but this shoes i ordered will be the most costly one i have ever decide to buy on my own. it's cost exactly 1.6 as much as my current adidas now. wow. this better protect my knees well, not like the stupid street soccer one i've bought. crap.

i like carol in the channel 8 9pm show. she's uber cool. i wish i have such a girlfriend, so that i can show off in public but slap her at home because she's so arrogance/spoilt. but then again, i like spoilt girls in some ways. she's tall/smart/pretty/sexy. maybe even before i slap her, she already kick my balls. how cool is that? hahaha.

stupid. i can't think properly now.

i learnt not to be a hero anymore. my eyes are irritated, red and super dry. i also don't use soap to shower after every swim session. its so scary. i didn't know chlorine can do so much damage. i must hurry go buy a swimming gogle before the next swim session.

i was wondering why girls seem more matured than guys of the same age? is it because of their dressing that made them behave like a demure lady? in that case, their actions are deemed mature, but what about their thinking? then again, actions are done after the thought is processed. so it shows that they are matured?!

but maybe they don't know what they really know the rationale behind it so they just think that should be the way because that is how the society works, so they just follow. after that, even though they don't really know what is correct/wrong it is considered correct (based on society). so they are happy/satisfied with it?

but then why females can be satisfied over all the simple things yet gucci, prada can make them happy? they say it is a bonus, but every little thing counts. ah, so easy. just treat them like a princess then! but then treating them like a princess means it includes both the 'factor' mentioned.

confusing. i wonder anyone understand what i'm driving at.

i feel so empty, alone, bored yet again. played soccer in the rain yesterday. it was so much more relaxing playing with secondary school mates compared to my cousins and his friends. after that, went to his place. it was oens ago since i went his place. pratically less than 5 times since we entered poly. had dinner with him at home, it was so surreal. the familiarity, warmth and all. his parents are still the same, as friendly as before. his younger brother is like almost one head taller than me now, taking his a levels this year. it was 10 years ago when we first met, time have passed. wish that time will go back in time to 1999/2000.


although we aren't that close anymore, i still feel very comfortable telling you everything. i'm glad i stayed for dinner and told you stuff that i didn't tell anyone face to face in my entire life. i feel better now though it can't be solved anytime soon.





love,
melvin

talking to ying jia triggers some thoughts. my mum just woke up. she is so cute. fortunate to have such a mum. hope i can remember the thoughts i have at night when i blog again. laters.

crap, i just realised i couldn't spell perhaps correctly for my entire life time. this totally sucks. perharps i should go to sleep now. screwed up again. good night.

Etiquette and image consultant Teo Ser Lee, 42, feels that women who expect men to pay during dates and escort them home safely are not being archaic, but simply being real.'These are basic social graces,' she says, adding that she expects her boyfriends to open car doors for her 'even though it is faster to open them myself'.'I consider myself a modern woman. I'd fight for a contract, tooth and nail. But when it comes to relationships, I will take the submissive role and let the man wear the pants.'

Oh, so this is what a man should do? I'd become a lady then. Why are social graces being 'formulated' in such a way? I wonder who come out with such things. To me, being submissive equates to enjoyment/relaxation, that applies to sex too. So in the end, the man is in the losing end. It's so difficult to be a man. Or i'm still such a immature bastard?

i used to have a little crush on teo ser lee when i was younger because she was pretty. now think i like mr teo ser luck more, he's younger, more handsome, cool and sexy. woohoo. *slurps*




Picture ripped off blinkymummy's blog entry "Villa Bali + MP + NoNameApplicable".

please come to me soon latest by the end of this month....

the few things i learnt from the MOE seminar today..

'the world hate changes, yet it has brough us progress... ' - charles f. kettering.

interest does not equate abilities

what values do we want in our worplace?

"nothing you learnt is ever wasted, you can bring it forward to your next workplace or apply it in your life"

follow your heart

focus on your journey

do not settle for second best. go for the best. dare to dream.