By ASHTON KUTCHER

I was shooting a scene in my new film, No Strings Attached, in which I say to Natalie Portman, "If you miss me ... you can't text, you can't e-mail, you can't post it on my [Facebook] wall. If you really miss me, you come and see me." I began to think of all of the billions of intimate exchanges sent daily via fingers and screens, bouncing between satellites and servers. With all this texting, e-mailing, and social networking, I started wondering, are we all becoming so in touch with one another that we are in danger of losing touch?

It used to be that boy met girl and they exchanged phone numbers. Anticipation built. They imagined the entire relationship before a call ever happened. The phone rang. Hearts pounded. "Hello?" Followed by a conversation that lasted two hours but felt like two minutes and would be examined with friends for two weeks. If all went well, a date was arranged. That was then.

Now we exchange numbers but text instead of calling because it mitigates the risks of early failure and eliminates those deafening moments of silence. Now anticipation builds. Bdoop. "It was NICE meeting u." Both sides overanalyze every word. We talk to a friend, an impromptu Cyrano: "He wrote nice in all caps. What does that mean? What do I write back?" Then we write a response and delete it 10 times before sending a message that will appear 2 care, but not 2 much. If all goes well, a date will be arranged.

Whether you like it or not, the digital age has produced a new format for modern romance, and natural selection may be favoring the quick-thumbed quip peddler over the confident, ice-breaking alpha male. Or maybe we are hiding behind the cloak of digital text and spell-check to present superior versions of ourselves while using these less intimate forms of communication to accelerate the courting process. So what's it really good for?

There is some argument about who actually invented text messaging, but I think it's safe to say it was a man. Multiple studies have shown that the average man uses about half as many words per day as women, thus text messaging. It eliminates hellos and goodbyes and cuts right to the chase. Now, if that's not male behavior, I don't know what is. It's also great for passing notes. There is something fun about sharing secrets with your date while in the company of others. Think of texting as a modern whisper in your lover's ear.

Sending sweet nothings on Twitter or Facebook is also fun. In some ways, it's no different than sending flowers to the office: You are declaring your love for everyone to see. Who doesn't like to be publicly adored? Just remember that what you post is out there and there's some stuff you can't unsee.

But the reality is that we communicate with every part of our being, and there are times when we must use it all. When someone needs us, he or she needs all of us. There's no text that can replace a loving touch when someone we love is hurting.

We haven't lost romance in the digital age, but we may be neglecting it. In doing so, antiquated art forms are taking on new importance. The power of a handwritten letter is greater than ever. It's personal and deliberate and means more than an e-mail or text ever will. It has a unique scent. It requires deciphering. But, most important, it's flawed. There are errors in handwriting, punctuation, grammar, and spelling that show our vulnerability. And vulnerability is the essence of romance. It's the art of being uncalculated, the willingness to look foolish, the courage to say, "This is me, and I'm interested in you enough to show you my flaws with the hope that you may embrace me for all that I am but, more important, all that I am not."

it's sad such a beautiful girl died yesterday evening. i thought that if she have to die, then i should die first before her. she's so pretty and all. life is weird. i am just wondering what happens if i actually dated her. will the outcome be different?

anyway, i want to thank her for making me realised that i need to treasure my life more no matter how bad it is. i read her blog, there were no comments in all other entries. perhaps that was her true feelings and no one connected to her and let her know it is ok to falter. what's important is to get up again. i always wanted to go NUS FASS or NTU humanities. i got rejected the 4th times this year. people think i am dumb and unrealistic, wasting my time. true. but i still dont really know what i want yet, so if i do not apply, i will regret. i really hate being judged by age, success, what's not as how i judge myself and people. fuck.

now i feel a need to post a comment on blogs who do not have any comment if they are sad or something.

i was also reading about the local designers who launched their label at parco millenia. they are amazing and inspiring at the moment. it makes me want to really give it all for what i love and make something out of it. it is fueled by the death of this teenage girl too. i dont want to die of regret. alot of work to be done and i need to push on. i know i will need support but then if there is no support the only person who can support me is myself.

bless the girl, i'd wished i got to know her before she die. maybe she can do something more meaningful to help the world or i can help to do something. i am pissed off at that editor who just wrote she started dating when she was 13 years old and neglected her studies. how you know? do you know her? that is your point of view. dont make your 'truth' as her 'truth' just because she flung her exams.

yucks. this world is disgusting. so am i sometimes.

managed to survived with 3 hours but i slept for awhile until now. still tired but shall sleep later. lost my cool with my brother when i came back. so much for testings my limits. sigh.

what to do tomorrrow other than send resume? should i take up a degree? if so, should i even find a permanent job or? i have no motivation when it is not sports. i need help. i feel empty. i dont want to void those voids. i want to heal those voids. i want to be powerful.

maybe i should start a tumblr account. tumblr seems more interesting, but that means i need to exercise self control because i won't stop once i start reading them.

females models are so brave to go semi nude or something baring their insecurities. utmost respect. i know i'm starting to evolve to another level. physical appearance doesnt attract me much after my hormones react. but i am still insecure. i just thought of something. something powerful and might change my life. just that i cannot say it out here. perhaps i shouldn't care how it's going to affect me in future too much if it prevents me from doing something. going to survive on 5hrs of sleep and then play soccer again. this is a test of my limits because i haven't done it before. if you have done it before, then don't compare. go on to the next level and don't judge me. i might sound insecure, i am and i will get over it.

screw the army. yucks.

happy mothers' day.
happy belated birthday to eileen feng, serene lee, chang xin hao.
happy birthday ing hsien.

there's so many thoughts in my head when i was jogging the other day that i forgotten now. but i know i will not give up running no matter how slow i jog like less than 5 km in 1 hour because it refreshes me. no matter how much pain there is.

i thought of jiayi when i jogged the other day... like how she listens to her mp3 and run during standard chartered and that motivates me. that motivation was not to run faster than her or to prove something. that motivation was just pure bliss to know someone is there to support you. it makes you lighter, makes your heart smile. thank you jia yi even if it was only my own imagination.

having pre-flu symptoms now, good night.

i am going to survive on 3 to 4 hours of sleep and playing soccer in an hours time. something i do the second time, just with more intensity just that i did a 1hr 2.4km (or is it 3+km or 4.8km) jog yesterday night?

good realisation. i am dead. or maybe i am a zombie living now. no matter what, you gonna have your heart broken at some point, you will only have yourself to rely on. be strong. but do the fucking work. quit admiring. why can't i just learn? where is my blindspot? what am i so afraid of?

i wanna make a shout out to kevin chua. i dont know how am i ever going to repay you back and i know it's not about that to you. so i just wanna say a big thank you to you.

i need to meet up with 2/6 people, zhi hao, chee heng, lee yeung. people come and go, some are meant to stay, some are not. i still do not know how to appreciate something and some people. but i will learn. we have our own lives to lead, nothing to be jealous or envious or feel sad about. something i haven't understand.

i got distracted. talk about it more soon. running late, dont want kevin to wait for me again.

love all.

lost my permanent part time job. too paralysed by fear now.

anyway, i just thought of you pei shan when i read this post. i do not know if i should post to you personally because i'm afraid it will break you again. but if you happen to read this, here it is.

"He broke up with you, right? After telling you he loved you and calling you pet names like baby and cutie? Yeah, I know he lavished you in compliments, only to put himself down so you would stroke his fakely low ego. Did he tell you that you were beautiful? I bet he promised you a personalized song. Or maybe he’d always mention how he was lying in bed and wished you were there. He dragged “I love you” out of you, didn’t he? Yeah, don’t deny it. He would talk to you last thing at night and first thing in the morning. He constantly mentioned losing sleep over you, every night, but we both know he slept like a rock. He made you love pictures that were just sort of “bleh” before. Did you delete those pictures after he broke your heart? Yeah, me too. All of your friends hate him now, don’t they? Remember how happy they were for you? They warned you. Just remember, it’s okay to cry. And referring to him as “asshole” is perfectly expected. Because, trust me, you’ll end up talking about him just as often, if not more, than before the break up. There will be the “one time”s and the “I remember”s, and once you think you’re over him, watch out. You better keep your eyes closed in the hallways, because I promise you, the next time you see him, he’ll be all over some other girl. A little part of you will want to warn her, but nobody will blame you for hating her and for blaming her for your pain. Yeah, you’ll compare all guys to him, because aside from the man-whorish, heart-breaker thing, he was perfect. He was everything you had ever wanted. Or maybe you made that up. Maybe, the second he started to show interest, you made up this perfect guy in your head, and he just happened to be just like him. Listen, you will find the perfect guy for you just like everybody says you will, and it will be soon. Okay, so I didn’t believe it either, but I’m starting to.The most important thing though is don’t let him know he hurt you. Don’t let him know he could have you back in a heartbeat. Don’t give him that satisfaction. Make him think you’re completely happy. When he decides to wave at you like nothing ever happened, wave back, sure. But don’t smile. Make him think he meant as little to you, as you obviously meant to him."

-http://eletheowl.tumblr.com

i dont know what this means, but i supposed this means i care. i still can remember those two nights, not the exact conversation but some parts of it. i hope you are better and stronger now.