the only reason why i'm on msn cos of xiaode and not xiang sheng. it's irritating me. now i know why yue chin doesnt talk to me after awhile. i am so fucked up, now i realise. i dont know if he still envy me or what. or if he sense me being hotsile to him. i reall hope he dont do that to others cos it will irrittate the shit out of them. i havent email yue chin for close to 2mths, its getting kind of alright not to talk (read:irritate) her. still think of her soemtimes, and it can be sweet to see her wide smile on facebook. i hope she is doing well. i dont mean it now not cos i'm bnlgogging and people is reading but in my heart when i'm on the bus or walking alone or just have thoughts of her, i hope she is happy eating properly.

ok, i need to slp before i fuck up further.

bintan, i dont know ifi 'm lookng forward towards it but still. i hope it wont screw up. pls dont judge my scars on my back, face, ass, thigh. i am happy to be with them even though i dont talk much or play soccer or not understanding half of what they say half the time.

sometimse i htink the organisation is screwed up. sometimes i think i am screwed up. now i'm feeling abit fucked up. and because of what was said yesterday and during sunday's night dinner for ye ye's bday.

i get irritated easily. i hate to lose to feel lousy. i hate to be imperfect not like this girl i saw in the bus where she had a nice body i supposed with flawless skin and no scar. my skin is getting worse. i shld not complain and what fuck or not i dont care. this is my blog. i am solo, selifsh, bastard , whatever i dont care.

join the osama clan perhaps.

i hate my back. i hate being dirty everyday with grease,oil, hurting back. i cant have good sex. i cant please my partner. i cant turn properly or bring the ball over smoothly without straining my back. i can do well in sprots industry. i dont have money. i need to plan. i dont know hwo to start, where to save and when i want to start other things fuck me up mentally. i cant do a sit up without feeling painful. megan fox can rape me anyday.

F.

i need to focus. bye.

i hate god sometimes.