donated blood for the first time last friday. wasnt as scary as i thought though it hurts a little and felt so weirdly uncomfortable when the blood is draw into the packet for that few minutes.iiits coming to the end of the year, and its christmas. siloso beach party. i shld have let jy and evon dunk me half naked into pool thingy last year. wasnt spontaneous enoguh was too self conscious now i dont think i can ever let them do it anymore.
what can i do from now till 10am?
call up driving instructors?
exercise?
my entire arm and chest hurts for 3days after 2 sets of 30. result of not doing any push ups for 2-3mths. how weak can i be.
ok.bye.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
when you are 13 and 3cm shorter, u can do it in 10.30
when you are 21 and 3cm taller, u barely make it thru with 11.50
when most people did it in sub 2hr, and you cant even do half that length.
could have normal skin like others but due to my perfectionist nature, i ruined it and made it worse. maybe if i slept more and not do my homework religiously even though i dont know what i was doing hoping that miracle will happen, i might have grew taller.
maybe maybe maybe. maybe i shld be a femalel. dreaming. why this why that? why get defineed by a piece of paper? why? what will happen if i becoem a parent? how can i help my children to find their strength asap? enrol them into millions of programmes? let them do what they want and figure it themselves?
since it's been screwed why still think of it? why not improve or other thigns and everything will fall in nicely in time to come.
i think both of them will put some people to shame.
gwen stefani: singer, mother of two, 40, starts work like almost immediately after pregnancy, amazing abs, $26mil in 2007.
natalia vodianova: supermodel, mother of three, 27, had a difficult childhood, blessed with amazing body, almost $5mil in 2007, founder of charity foundation.
since i cant be extraodrinary, i shld try to learn how to enjoy the simple pleasure of life. so what people say, i shld fuck it unless it makes sense? then again, nothing makes sense because everything is grey.
i hope i can roller blading later though the last time i did was still around the 'training area'. weird. tanning sessioon at the pool now?
when you are 21 and 3cm taller, u barely make it thru with 11.50
when most people did it in sub 2hr, and you cant even do half that length.
could have normal skin like others but due to my perfectionist nature, i ruined it and made it worse. maybe if i slept more and not do my homework religiously even though i dont know what i was doing hoping that miracle will happen, i might have grew taller.
maybe maybe maybe. maybe i shld be a femalel. dreaming. why this why that? why get defineed by a piece of paper? why? what will happen if i becoem a parent? how can i help my children to find their strength asap? enrol them into millions of programmes? let them do what they want and figure it themselves?
since it's been screwed why still think of it? why not improve or other thigns and everything will fall in nicely in time to come.
i think both of them will put some people to shame.
gwen stefani: singer, mother of two, 40, starts work like almost immediately after pregnancy, amazing abs, $26mil in 2007.
natalia vodianova: supermodel, mother of three, 27, had a difficult childhood, blessed with amazing body, almost $5mil in 2007, founder of charity foundation.
since i cant be extraodrinary, i shld try to learn how to enjoy the simple pleasure of life. so what people say, i shld fuck it unless it makes sense? then again, nothing makes sense because everything is grey.
i hope i can roller blading later though the last time i did was still around the 'training area'. weird. tanning sessioon at the pool now?
Sunday, October 25, 2009
this taiwanese show is pissing people off. it is very endearing but no one in this world will let this happen cos most of us will be doing something about it before this happens. it has to be like total coincidence for it to happen. but for me to become as fucked up as guocongmin is easy. so soemtimes watching this show is bad for me.
meet up with zhi hao on fri. it's been years since we sit down and have a properl meal together. played soccer with him too. i'm glad that chee heng, zhi hao and i was in a team just now. soccer dont mean as much as before now, being a the same team feels better. cliff and zhi hao are police colleagues. such a small world.
i feel like moving out. i find it kind of messy. my apretns and our slping time and our hoseu environment. at the same time, i can be real indepedent, wash clothing, settles meals, doing housekeeping, paying bills all on my own = less meeting out, less budget for bdays. i feel like leaving sg. i hate my scars. i feel so ashamed of it but it is my fault. i cant play soccer half naked like the rest. there is nothing much left for me now that can or will keep in this country. no one will love me. even so , i dont feel it. i need to achieve something to feel good.
time to slp. lie on bed 10pm every ngith since thursday but i am always waking up almsot every hour thru the night. this sucks.
pls click the close button on the right if you feel uncomfortable with me discussing abt topics related to sex or think that i'm horny right now but i am not.
i jsut wonder how it feels to be a female pornstar. their life and all. i would want to experience it before passing remarks on them. being topless and washing cars is not degrading in my opinion as long you dont get the wrong idea or just keep thinking of getting the pants of those models because it is natural to be naked. we shldn't be ashame of our body but feel very comfortable in our skin.
scubadive.
skydive.
bungee.
love self before you can love others.
wonder yc came here to club or work. i didnt stop by orchard since fri till now. supposed she might fly back already.
good night.
meet up with zhi hao on fri. it's been years since we sit down and have a properl meal together. played soccer with him too. i'm glad that chee heng, zhi hao and i was in a team just now. soccer dont mean as much as before now, being a the same team feels better. cliff and zhi hao are police colleagues. such a small world.
i feel like moving out. i find it kind of messy. my apretns and our slping time and our hoseu environment. at the same time, i can be real indepedent, wash clothing, settles meals, doing housekeeping, paying bills all on my own = less meeting out, less budget for bdays. i feel like leaving sg. i hate my scars. i feel so ashamed of it but it is my fault. i cant play soccer half naked like the rest. there is nothing much left for me now that can or will keep in this country. no one will love me. even so , i dont feel it. i need to achieve something to feel good.
time to slp. lie on bed 10pm every ngith since thursday but i am always waking up almsot every hour thru the night. this sucks.
pls click the close button on the right if you feel uncomfortable with me discussing abt topics related to sex or think that i'm horny right now but i am not.
i jsut wonder how it feels to be a female pornstar. their life and all. i would want to experience it before passing remarks on them. being topless and washing cars is not degrading in my opinion as long you dont get the wrong idea or just keep thinking of getting the pants of those models because it is natural to be naked. we shldn't be ashame of our body but feel very comfortable in our skin.
scubadive.
skydive.
bungee.
love self before you can love others.
wonder yc came here to club or work. i didnt stop by orchard since fri till now. supposed she might fly back already.
good night.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
using a blackberry that was found and unregistered sucks.
10pm. I was lying on bed. Things on my mind run wild. I couldn't sleep till now. But I'm really very tired after today's swim. Perharps I didn't exercise enough till the extent such that I can KO immediately. Those kids especially the girl in blue and the boy with ronaldo world cup hairstyle swam so well I felt ashamed of myself.
Ece
D
I
I
Trf
Ece
D
I
I
Trf
10pm. I was lying on bed. Things on my mind run wild. I couldn't sleep till now. But I'm really very tired after today's swim. Perharps I didn't exercise enough till the extent such that I can KO immediately. Those kids especially the girl in blue and the boy with ronaldo world cup hairstyle swam so well I felt ashamed of myself.
Ece
D
I
I
Trf
Ece
D
I
I
Trf
Monday, October 05, 2009
hopefully when i write this entry. i will not revert back to who i am who type all those crap....
i've realised how such a procastinator and how much i pissed peopel off when i complain, justify myself, etc. i need to thank this army friend who kind of keeps thinking i'm very good and made me realised i was (amybe still am) such a person to phoon yc. now i know how irritating i can be. some things cant be forced. soem things you dont have to try too hard.
it was great to see poly friends yesterday. i thought it would be very awkward but it was still a fun bunch. i still didn't take initiative.
i still adore beatrice tan, claire jedrek and annoymously check out the profile of others whom i adore.... hopefully, someday, oneday, soon i will not need to do that again. when the tiem comes, this will mean that i've become a more secure person.
god bless all.
puay tze, thanks for the steamboat treat. :)
i've realised how such a procastinator and how much i pissed peopel off when i complain, justify myself, etc. i need to thank this army friend who kind of keeps thinking i'm very good and made me realised i was (amybe still am) such a person to phoon yc. now i know how irritating i can be. some things cant be forced. soem things you dont have to try too hard.
it was great to see poly friends yesterday. i thought it would be very awkward but it was still a fun bunch. i still didn't take initiative.
i still adore beatrice tan, claire jedrek and annoymously check out the profile of others whom i adore.... hopefully, someday, oneday, soon i will not need to do that again. when the tiem comes, this will mean that i've become a more secure person.
god bless all.
puay tze, thanks for the steamboat treat. :)
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