you know you're screwed when ms singapore can run 10km in 67mins.

sometimes i wonder how they can go thru life after the pagant or whatever competition and lead a normal life yet again. how can they be so down to earth i wanna know. i need to learn from them. but then again, they're so beautiful and they know that only more opportunities will come. they wont starve. not saying they're bimbos cos i know they're all graduates from uni. prolly 2X smarter than me.

its so sunny and by the time i reach the pool the sun will set and i cant tan anymore.

wtf if i can run faster than her. she's so beautiful and have so much more to offer to the world or whatever thing than me.

sometimes i wonder what will happen if u put a long scar across the face or body of beautiful people. or what if they aren't born with the looks. how their life will change. worse than mine or ?

fing off from the com to do something outdoors amd save myself b4 its too late.

i'm so pissed off with the trojan horse thingy cos i cant solve it.

i cant meet kelly,andeline and all cos it'll be 9+pm once i reach there and it makes no sense for me to see them for 15mins and all the rush i need to go through. i want to see them but i havent shwoered or eat or anything.

i havent had my dinner.

i havent hydrated myself properly today.

i'm so bored.

i'm so tired yet i cant sleep.

i feel liek going for a run but it's a exercise day tmr.

i dislike what my mum cooked for dinenr today.

i dun know if i pissed her off again or something. i jsut cant stop complaining. hopefully she's just a busy wonderwoman these few days.

i didnt sleep well yesterday.

i feel very itchy and dirty but its a waste of water if i'm gg to shwoer b4 i run.

my muscle cant heal and i'm not imporving if i do not have inadequate rest due to lack of slp and adding mroe stress to it tmr.

now i think i shld have ignore all my homework in the past and jsut go to slp because i'm not a scholar . hard work doesnt pay.

i'm so screwed. i feel like buying a new computer/laotop now and use this one as a punching bag now.

i need someone special to save me.
i need salvation.
i need to change my life.
i cant type much because right now i'm typing to atract attention and this sucks.

there was this girl in the bus who was talking to her friend and it makes perfect sense and i realised i've been so fake.

or denstined to lead a lonely path?

no i'm not emoing. definitely. i cant apprecaite pple who care cos i dun feel special, jsut someone a fridn to them.

everything is getting meaningless.

ok, i'm f ing it up again. bye.

ok, sidetrack. i was looking at my back in the mirror durign showers and it reminds me of yj spine. idk why. but i like her spine. its really sexy.

hk was fun. might post pictures when i get hem and sought the permission from my friends. sorry peishan i didnt reply ur sms cos i didnt know what to reply afraid that it will trigger u to be more sad.

k, i cant be bothered but only to attract people attention to know how different i am in real and behind the com but i dunno what the hell is it beneficial to me. more like helping others to know my weakpoint, the more f up/scary/horny/disillusional/whatever f side of me .

i shldnt even start typing becos i cant stop now.





























































































































f up.

today's miss sng's bday.
today's stefanis sun's concert.
today's exactly 10mths before most of my friends ....
today's 1yr and 10+ days before i can f off frm e org.
i cant wait for stefanie's sun bday next year.

it taught me not to dream but to live for others and get slapped back on the face.
it taught me how to feed the ego/pride of others.
it taught me to treasure time.
it makes me feel worse than usual.
i totally do not have respect for e org.

if possible, e birthplace of my sons, anywhere else but not here.

happy belated kelly and joanne.

lifes f up.

suck it in and give 2years to them. yc said. still trying. i havent talk to her in awhile.

not eanring money on a sat, neither am i 'enjoying' myself but wasting life at home cos i got to suck it in.

i cant control my anger management. i secretly think that i can pick up fighting fast and have thoughts of taking up so i can vent my anger. i miss punching the everlast in the hotel.

spore is so $%^&*(.