perhaps i have been always looking for a surrogate elder sister or mother. that's why i never find love. that aside.... i'm so glad and felt so lucky that yue chin replied my email. i just read it for the second time because i cant really fully process everything right now. i'm feeling very tired and even though i'm not i might not understand it fully too. this shows she's so much more mature than me? i am tearing and i dont know what is the exact reason.

Dillon said that by reading blackjetta.blogspot.com, it makes me feel that i have a connection with her. a false one. it hit me right on the spot and kept me thinking. it have been a rough week. i succeeded in making myself high by listening to ipod every moring on the way to work only to feel all empty again once i reach the workplace.

i hope she sleeps tonight. it's just harming her health. i wonder if i reply tomorrow will she reply back? on a happier note, tomorrow is friday.

i wanted to write about how a lady working for prudential apporach me at lot 1 and rave about her but i guess i will not do that today. i saw g and k too, but they didnt see me. oh haha. this is what love birds do to you.

god bless all.
night.

felt v sad again when i read phoon yc's entry.
talking to jiayi now, but i'm more of like stoning.
syncing my ipod...
and i dont know if i should just tell her, like it might add on more to her problem?
i so wanted to talk about myself, but i was suppressing it. now i just dont know what ot talk. the conversation is getting awkward and i think i'm being a spoilsport and i cant advise her on any job offers.
i am typing this right now assuming she doesnt read my blog. and if she does, i dont know. i just got a feeling she might read this.

ok, i lost my plot.

it's still all about me afterall.

i just hope blackjetta.blogspot.com will never close down. i wanted to copy and paste the entries in MS word so i can read through them again in future. but there's too much to do, and i dont have the heart to do so. reading the archive gives me a better understanding. she is the coolest/most beautiful/most unpretentious female blogger ever. through her blog, i know what is moleskine and begin to have interest in shoes. i idolise her in many ways and just wanna follow her. perhaps its really time for her to move on for herself, just wanna wish her all the best in whatever she do.

pictures from her blog..



isn't she pretty?

m1 bills doesnt show the talktime usage and it always irritates me. it is getting more and more expensive again... ahhh. kinda regret getting the rebate which spreads over 2yrs which i signed last july. i cant wait to change to another line. i cant remember the reason why i chose m1 but ok... i'm happy for now. i needa get out of the house soon before the feeling comes back. and i do feel more and more lost whenever i am alone on days like this. if only i could exercise right now!

orchard to buy stuff to protect my new gadget,
go borders to visit ps and read a good book?
watch a movie?
and i dont know who to ask out thought i have someone in mind... but...

just read yj's blog and for the first time in a long time, i feel happy for her rather than being envious. yeah!

she's away on msn and i wanna talk but i dont know how to start. ok, i dunno, still scared. i shall stop using the com. dont rain pls.

i was lucky and so later is a free day for me! yeah.

i think having optimism is a good way to start. ah, just starting to 'debate' with my mum about keep a blog and providing too much personal info.

ah, i've try to think of the positive side the past few days and i was happy and then good things happen though we got lectured. hope to continue to do so, hoping to change to a better person. does it work this way? being happy will bring all the good things? but i'm still scared i will grow so fat and unhealthy and i fear for the future again. i need to hurry recover and go exercise. but staying in the office is also very cool except....

oh, GT! i just read your blog and it reminded me of sat night when i smile to you and you smile back because u know what i was thinking/doing..... now i get so excited i can't slp! i supposed its a good thing better than emoing now.

to sec sch friends: if you saw the photos on the facebook, i didn't mean to hide anything. i was seriously thinking what should i get because i could only get one and was undecided. i didn't expected or knew beforehand that both wishes were fulfilled by poly mates. i think this is the power of blog? macs was good, just that i had to work the next day. i think i need h2h talk with u all another time soon. i still love you all.

i really had a wonderful bday and i dont know what to say. i need to learn to stop finding which i have been doing all these years because i have a grps of friends who love me for who i am.

i need to focus on my mental well-being for now. sorry if i seem rude on the net when i say good night and go offline immediately as i needa rid of hiding behind the com so often.

i know knwos about gadgets and i have been on the com since 9+pm figuring out how to use itunes. stupid i know. hahahaha. i'm learning. take it slow and steady.