i think i was seeking attention all along. sorry. ignore my entries because they are not my 100% true feelings . i dont even know what i am doing. i hope i wont wake up to be so tired because i know i cant wake up feeling refreshinig. i didnt have this feeling for year(s).

stupid but i dont know if this shld be the last entry.

my hands are always so itchy that i'll try to put a mark to almost every pimple on my face. and i really look horrible when i see the mirror. now i wonder how stefanie sun get all her motivation,strength and willpower from.

reading blackjetta.blogspot.com makes me have mixed feelings again though i dont understand today's entry.

i wanna thank all my poly friends and sec sch friends... i had a wonderful time with all of u. i really loved the hugs. i'm flawed and.... i just cant think properly now.

i had quite a good day at work and thought that this might be a good start. looks like i can't get through the second day. the self absorb feeling is slowly engulfing me. i didn't watch survivor even though i intended to. i dont even know who to talk to be and make sure i wouldn't screw up their life. ok, i'm not as emo as i though i am or feeling now. i'm typing nonsense again. i dont want to spoil anybodys mood tmr and i'm falling sick.

i dont even know what is the real purpose of blogging anymore. its weird. perhaps when blackjetta.blogspot.com close down, i should stop blogging too? i really wish to meet her and know her life. anyone who reads can just comment to me. i feel like an idoit now. i wish someone can just scold me now. so i can stop typing. i cannot control myself. i wish to experience the life of phoon yue chin.

the feeling is on and off. it sucks. when i'm about to come back home, i feel happy. now when i reach home, i feel devestated and think about the next day. i am tired perhaps i shouldn't use the com. perhaps i should stop watching movies/show. to be honest, these shows give me more disappointment than hope. scarlett johansson is so hot when i watched he's just not that into you. i am the same height as her. how pathetic. seth green gives me hope. but he is the only one in 1000000000 people in the world who make it big. making it big doesnt have to be in the media. ok, i'm losing the plot again... phoon yue chin is so beautiful. i'm making myself overexhaust as i'm feeling sleepy right now yet i use the com. ok, i'll try to slp now. good night..

i think in time to come, all i want is to have a partner who is like my mum.....or i wanan try being a girl. i cant live without my mum. how screwed can i be... i always tell her to take care of herself but at the end of the day she is always taking care of the family sacrifacing everything. it hurts but i always cant do anything and sink in deeper and deeper. ok i just teared.

happy birthday pei shan if i didnt sms you at night. sorry. i do not want to spoil the mood of anyones bday. hopefully, i wont.

happy birthday yvonne yeo.

i just cant stop typing.. pardon me. what will happen to rui en and elvin ng. will that happen in real life?

night.

knowing that blackjetta.blogspot.com is closing down makes me feel empty and sad now.

1. i bought my first levis jeans.

2. i thought i was handsome and popular,too complacent and proud in the past thinking that people who couldn't do well in their studies are bound to fail in anything they do in life.

3. i think i got my retribution now that i have to live with it forever. short, ugly and self-centred.

4. intend to start a new blog and leave everything behind once i reach 21.

5. hopefully i can do that and it i know it will be hard because all i did was procastinate and act like a stupid boy who is so superficial and shallow.

6. having the hottest body doesn't mean that you are healthy. fit does not equate to healthy.

7.





i had a pleasant experience in SGH. my mum said i am weird because i wishws that i could stay there longer. these pictures were taken last week and it is healing well. and no, it not as painful as it seems because that caucasian surgeon injected morphine into me. but the itch is killing me. i miss that female surgeon.

8. i doubt that once i start a new blog i will stop raving about the female species.

9. being a doctor is very noble and its not about earning big bucks. kudos and respect them.

10. i'm trying to think properly now but i keep thinking of that female surgeon. ok, time to get ready to go back for appointment. i do not know if i want to see her later because i want to enquire about embarassing question that make me seem stupid.

11. happy birthday cliff! ok, i sound gay but.. i miss you and your antics. like seriously. you're a nice boy. damn! i wanna hug you now.

its very sweet to get nice smses. and i nvr see evon for like a long time. now i feel i'm missing out something when i 'cant' go.

i cant wait for mid 2010 to come and get away from this org.

i wanna be a girl at times.

can anybody tell me or motivate me to do something productive? if only i have the brains of phoon yue chin...

i've got a feeling that 2or 3 or 4 years later i will be still the same as the person i am now. wtf.

ok, i'm so bored i wanna conk off and die.

maybe i'm thinking too much, this org might not be as bad as it seems to be. i'm pessmisitic again, ok bye.

sucks. i hate it but i enjoy talking to the com. wtf. i think i've brain damaged.

a good time to chiong all the tv serial and the books i wanna read these few days since i can't do anything.

good night world. slp early xd,kim and grace.