i think i must get rid of something before it becomes a habit or part of me. it's a routine to me now. must stop before it gets deeper and deeper and i can't handle it well.

not emo-ing. just read kw's, evon's, xd's, grace's, ying jia's blog and started thinking...

all of us are struggling with ourselves.
we know what is right and wrong by nature and/or conscience.
what sets us apart are our environment and priorities.
this will reflect on how we act and/or think.
what we choose to see also affects our action and/or thinking
who are we to judge without knowing.

insecurities/inferiority/superiority.
i think that's why we all appear different in front of different group of people. this is not what we all want.
all of us just want to be happy.
perhaps this is why people coming together to form an interest group (cca) get along better despite their differences.

this world is so interesting. this is life. it's what my mum said. i still don't know what's on my mum's mind. she's simple yet complex. so cool. and a good wife too (that makes her family too lazy because she's the pillar of the family).

well, maybe we can't be happy all the time so that we can 'experience' life.
unless you're happy and ignorant at the same time then that's different. eg. baby
when you are happy and not ignorant, you are actually 'enjoying and experiencing' life.

oh yes, i realised i seldom blog about my sec school friends/stuff. meet up soon (after i've got enough money to spend). :)

there's something wrong with my eyes. i don't want to wear spectacles/contact lenses. my right eye lid keep twinking since i woke up. this is the first time i'm experiencing it since eons. my left knee is starting to hurt. weird.

i saw rachel tan on SMRT 190 just now at about 7+pm. ah, it's like finally after 4 years i saw her in person again. well, i think she is going to cck and if i alighted at the same stop, i might help her find the right direction so she won't get lost. she's more beautiful(nice tan) and sweet in real than in picture. she's wearing a black long sleeve top, blue denim skirt with white shoes(i can't remember the footwear already) and have got the same bag as jy/jo. i think she's holding a nokia phone but don't know what model, it's white in colour. should i go see stingrays play in toa payoh hall then i can also get to see zhang tingjun in real too? wow. so cool. girls who exercise are so attractive.


oh yes, i saw cookie monster running alone today. he's like so determined or loner la.. sad. i also saw a matured lady with red specs and make up, she attracted me at first. but i realised that she's average looking only. i think its because she looks intellectual and can take care of me. that's why. but i like her nike shoes! it's so nice! i don't know why girls clothes/footwear always nicer looking with the right design and combination colours. guys shoes sucks except for the asics 2130 and kayano 14. i like that metallic red and silver colour. sexy.

then again, any boy or girl look attractive/pretty/handsome to me at first, but after awhile they look average and that includes jessica alba or felicia chin or joanne peh or fiona xie or paris hilton or anyone else in the world. i think it's the personality that make that but i do not believe in some stuff such as making promises with the word 'forever'. i'm scared of commitments and i don't believe in forever. maybe 1 out of 10,000 couples can make it. do your probability and you know it won't be me.


i alighted at the bus stop opposite far east plaza to go borders to visit puay tze & pei shan(but i couldn't see her there). i planned to sit down at the bench to read 'the power of purpose' by peter s. tenes or 'tuesday with morrie' by mitch albom. as expected, it's so crowded everywhere so i went back to royal sporting house to peep at that cute female staff there.


i've signed up for the 5km passion run already. the staff is so helpful! but then i forgotten to take back my change. ah, i could have feast on one mcdonald meal. sad. well, i've treat it as shoes consultation fees. i've got low arch and neutral gait but that guy say i'll slightly overpronate if i go for long runs. he's sexy. woohoo. never buy shoes without tryin them, i'll forever remember it.

What's Your True Color?

My Result: Brown

You're brown, a credible, stable color that's reminiscent of fine wood, rich leather, and wistful melancholy. Most likely, you're a logical, practical person ruled more by your head than your heart. With your inquisitive mind and insatiable curiosity, you're probably a great problem solver. And you always gather all of the facts before coming to a timely, informed decision. Easily intrigued, you're constantly finding new ways to challenge your mind, whether it's by reading the newspaper, playing a trivia game, or composing a piece of music. Brown is an impartial, neutral color, which means you tend to see the difference between fact and opinion easily and are open to many points of view. Trustworthy and steady, you really are a brown at heart.

What are you?
http://web.tickle.com/jumpto?test=colorogt&c=50652

http://www.bmezine.com/news/pubring/20050401.html

i can't do that for love's sake.

'Tom Cruise’s wife, Katie Holmes, drew a huge cheer as she crossed the line amongst thousands of less famous fellow participants in 5hrs 29mins 58sec, according to a fan blog.'

ok, this is bad because i run slower than katie holmes. wow. i didn't know celebrity can be fitter than me. sigh. ian armstrong of 2hrs 40+mins is acceptable because he cycles(which makes u efficient in adopting the proper running method) and is a cancer survivor.

why care about others when they don't care about themselves? like what sawyer said in LOST. every man for himself. that's so true. forget about everyone else. that's why i admire osama bin laden at times. he's doing good to the world. i'll try to go to sleep again. f.

they say money is not everything, but you have to admit that it is fucking important. 7.5/10 is how much i'm giving it. everything you do is related to money even sitting here typing this shit right now. how fucking important...

i'm just wondering what if a man doesn't change?
is it a valid reason that he worked so hard for the past few years and that now its his 'down period', we should endure whatever he is going through. what if that goes on forever? wouldn't we be wasted? why does his partner who thinks they she is always right isn't contributing to all this too? though i have to admit she suffered the most and helping in the physical aspect, but she is not helping in the mental aspect.

if it's so i rather be consistant throughout my entire life and not cause anyone trouble even if i don't get to enjoy all the luxuries in life. what is the point of enjoy all those luxuries when you don't know how to appreciate it? isn't that wasted? why must our lives revolve around others? why is it so difficult to help others? i can't be a social worker. i wonder how it feels to be a gigolo. does he feel loved yet satisfied? will he lose himself because of money? or will he realised that he is actually sexually active by nature but there is still emotional attachment.

well. i guess no one will really bother reading chunks and chunks of words that i wrote. well, i have to admit that though this blog is for me but i welcome all opinions and suggestions.

a man with no dreams or hope is as good as dead. hopes and dreams keeps us alive. i think that is the most basic 'thing'/
even though they are hopefully and dreamy, they should take actions working towards it if not it is of no use. i respect people who step up and work towards it as it is not easy.

we all know that being superficial isn't a very good thing, but why are we still doing that? society... norms.... i really respect those who do not follow the traditions. they are deemed disrespectful. but to me, they are being very strong because they will know what are the consequences to bear that will leave them distraught. what about being creative? why does the government emphasize on creativity then especialy in entreprenuership/academics/work.

i'm getting hungry again. time to sleep but i'm overexhausted now. if this continues, i think i will need to live alone.

because i chose to screw myself up, so am i. no one forced me to. i have to find my own solution to clear up this mess and start anew if not i will always be stucked in this vicious cycle. i must be willing to learn and curb my over-enthusiasm especially when i want to achieve something with immediate effect knowing that it will not happen. over-enthusiasm kills, slow and steady is the way to win the race. i am not a product of a screwed up family, it is just some other obstacle that doesn't break me but make me stronger than ever. i should never entertain the thoughts of evil, it should not even came to me naturally. that is sin. i must learn how to love my body. i must learn how to love,respect and accept myself before others can love me. no one is perfect.

god, please help me especially the recovery of my ankle. thank you. god bless all.
happy belated bday sj.

i don't understand why arts and social sciences and profect & facilities management are one of the most sought after courses in uni! now i feel kind of gone case.

regretted not studying harder for the 5th semester and gave up SAM. it's so near yet so far. now it's time to move on and achieve something different. 4-5months of training for the effort to be paid off. will be starting once i recover. hope i can presevere. god bless all.

felicia chin rocks my socks. stargirl.

I was quiet as a mouse
When I snuck into your house
And took roofies with your spouse
In a nit, and out a louse

And lice are lousy all the time
They suck your blood drink your wine
Say "Shut up and quit your crying
Give it time and you'll be fine,"

You're so nice and you're so smart
You're such a good friend, I have to break your heart
Tell you that I love you then I'll tear your world apart
Just pretend I didn't tear your world apart

I like boys with strong convictions
And convicts with perfect diction
Underdogs with good intentions
Amputees with stamp collections
Plywood skinboards ride the ocean
Salty noses, suntan lotion
Always seriously joking
And rambunctiously soft-spoken

I like boys that like their mothers
And I have a thing for brothers
But they always wait till we're under the covers
To say "I'm sure glad we're not lovers,"

You're so nice and you're so smart
You're such a good friend, I have to break your heart
Tell you that I love you then I'll tear your world apart
Just pretend I didn't tear your world apart

I like my new bunny suit
I like my new bunny suit
I like my new bunny suit
When I wear it, I feel cute


ohhhh. ellen page is so pretty. 21 february. pisces. older than me. rich.

Lesson learnt: Go to Running Lab @ Funan IT mall before buying the shoes. They will help you see what kind of feet and biomechanics you have before recommending the right shoes for you although it's a tad slightly more expensive. It will benefit you in the long run by keeping you more injury-free especially when you do long distance training. If you are thick skin enough, you just go there to have your feet tested on the threadmill and then get advice from them before going to queensway to get the shoes.

brand new Asics 1130(Mens) is for sale.
US size 8; EURO 41.5, 26CM (regular fit)
Colour: White/Platinum/Chili Pepper.
It's an entry level shoes for runners with
slightly more than normal pronation with normal arch feet.
It's slightly too small for me. Hence, i've decided to sell it off when i collected it 3 days ago.
It's going off for $135. Price is negotiable.

More information at this website.

i don't know why all the bad things happen all at one time. when it's bored, it's really bored that i feel like crap. when i'm busy, i'm so so busy that i'll have to reject some other activities. i wonder why is that so.

don't know if i should take up relief teaching? i can't teach for nuts, forgotten all my e.maths in sec sch. i don't really want to see pri sch kids.

injury + hungry + lost + feeling bad = v moody

i don't know if i look forward to tomorrow and this coming monday.

cropped off nikewomen.com.sg

very nice right?! you get sponsored a free sport trial session. there's like almost ten different sports for you to choose from. what's better is a healthier, sexier and happier you. this is love.
so why not give it a try?
more information inside this website

I'M ONE HAPPY BOY RIGHT NOW (excluding the injury).

i dislike rain in the day.

i used the atm card for the 5th time since i got the on 20th feb. now 1/5 of my savings are gone. so cool. i knew this will happen but not so fast!

i don't know if i made the right choice. but this shoes i ordered will be the most costly one i have ever decide to buy on my own. it's cost exactly 1.6 as much as my current adidas now. wow. this better protect my knees well, not like the stupid street soccer one i've bought. crap.

i like carol in the channel 8 9pm show. she's uber cool. i wish i have such a girlfriend, so that i can show off in public but slap her at home because she's so arrogance/spoilt. but then again, i like spoilt girls in some ways. she's tall/smart/pretty/sexy. maybe even before i slap her, she already kick my balls. how cool is that? hahaha.

stupid. i can't think properly now.

i learnt not to be a hero anymore. my eyes are irritated, red and super dry. i also don't use soap to shower after every swim session. its so scary. i didn't know chlorine can do so much damage. i must hurry go buy a swimming gogle before the next swim session.

i was wondering why girls seem more matured than guys of the same age? is it because of their dressing that made them behave like a demure lady? in that case, their actions are deemed mature, but what about their thinking? then again, actions are done after the thought is processed. so it shows that they are matured?!

but maybe they don't know what they really know the rationale behind it so they just think that should be the way because that is how the society works, so they just follow. after that, even though they don't really know what is correct/wrong it is considered correct (based on society). so they are happy/satisfied with it?

but then why females can be satisfied over all the simple things yet gucci, prada can make them happy? they say it is a bonus, but every little thing counts. ah, so easy. just treat them like a princess then! but then treating them like a princess means it includes both the 'factor' mentioned.

confusing. i wonder anyone understand what i'm driving at.

i feel so empty, alone, bored yet again. played soccer in the rain yesterday. it was so much more relaxing playing with secondary school mates compared to my cousins and his friends. after that, went to his place. it was oens ago since i went his place. pratically less than 5 times since we entered poly. had dinner with him at home, it was so surreal. the familiarity, warmth and all. his parents are still the same, as friendly as before. his younger brother is like almost one head taller than me now, taking his a levels this year. it was 10 years ago when we first met, time have passed. wish that time will go back in time to 1999/2000.


although we aren't that close anymore, i still feel very comfortable telling you everything. i'm glad i stayed for dinner and told you stuff that i didn't tell anyone face to face in my entire life. i feel better now though it can't be solved anytime soon.





love,
melvin

talking to ying jia triggers some thoughts. my mum just woke up. she is so cute. fortunate to have such a mum. hope i can remember the thoughts i have at night when i blog again. laters.

crap, i just realised i couldn't spell perhaps correctly for my entire life time. this totally sucks. perharps i should go to sleep now. screwed up again. good night.

Etiquette and image consultant Teo Ser Lee, 42, feels that women who expect men to pay during dates and escort them home safely are not being archaic, but simply being real.'These are basic social graces,' she says, adding that she expects her boyfriends to open car doors for her 'even though it is faster to open them myself'.'I consider myself a modern woman. I'd fight for a contract, tooth and nail. But when it comes to relationships, I will take the submissive role and let the man wear the pants.'

Oh, so this is what a man should do? I'd become a lady then. Why are social graces being 'formulated' in such a way? I wonder who come out with such things. To me, being submissive equates to enjoyment/relaxation, that applies to sex too. So in the end, the man is in the losing end. It's so difficult to be a man. Or i'm still such a immature bastard?

i used to have a little crush on teo ser lee when i was younger because she was pretty. now think i like mr teo ser luck more, he's younger, more handsome, cool and sexy. woohoo. *slurps*




Picture ripped off blinkymummy's blog entry "Villa Bali + MP + NoNameApplicable".

please come to me soon latest by the end of this month....

the few things i learnt from the MOE seminar today..

'the world hate changes, yet it has brough us progress... ' - charles f. kettering.

interest does not equate abilities

what values do we want in our worplace?

"nothing you learnt is ever wasted, you can bring it forward to your next workplace or apply it in your life"

follow your heart

focus on your journey

do not settle for second best. go for the best. dare to dream.