hopefully, everything will be over soon. the workload the school gave is unbearable and it caused unhappiness among people; friendship.

i guess i cant be a good friend to anyone. i just cannot put others before self even if playing soccer now. what happened?

i feel so lost, tired and moody without friends around me especially when i'm at home. think this is not a very good sign. talking to yong kai now, it's been such a long time since i last saw him. a very good trustworhty friend who is also good in soccer.

these few days have been crazy. i never read a single blog. everyone is doing their work and i like this feeling of unity in class. all of us chionging our work, helping each other. i don't like to owe people thing. i'm just afraid i can't help/repay in future. oh well, i guess that's just a stupid excuse to say i'm really selfish ultimately. there's lightning and thunder now i doubt there will be napfa. and if i carry such a big bag to sch, it looks so idiotic. i'm feeling so tired. my energy is being drained off so quickly when i woke up just an hour ago. it sucks to fall sick at the crucial moment. sorry to everyone whom i have spread my sickness. pls let me get well soon.

actually, i was sleeping at 10 but i just can't continue to get to sleep now. so damn tired and i don't know what should i do now. hrf or memorise mqe script and presentation or read about bmd if not i dun know what defects are what , how to do the project. i like my friends but i dislike schoolwork. getting sick soon.

please tell me when should i be sensitive and when should i not? i think i'm too much in a way, but i meant good. all the lifeskills IS modules i took is still not enough. how do i balance it.

although i slept very late yesterday, i had enough sleep and was fresh. i just didnt know why i was so moody today. partially because i missed the quiz and i had to admit i was sad. but when i was going to totally heck care abt it, george yuen gave me another chance when i gave him that stupid face. he was so nice to me and i felt bad/guilty.

i was abt to give up again when both of you helped me out in the quiz. thanks. it was fun/meaningful that i managed to talk to kx,yj and grace kwan a little more. i guess i get to know them a little teeny wenny more after today but i might be wrong.

i realised i judged too much in the past. i'm still doing it now and it sucks. i totally do not know if this change is good or bad, i'm feeling happy at the moment especially in school when i joke or laugh but i'll tend to worry more for my results more than ever. should i keep my mouth shut because i talk without thinking much now and it might have hurt others unintentionally without me knowing.

there's so much more but i can't really think anymore. pls let me fall alseep soon.

all was good until now. it seems that things have gone back to the same but no. once there's scar inflicted, there's just this insecurity/fear that will remain forever. it seemed that he have changed but he should put himself in her shoes. actually both parties should do that (but she's hurt so she don't really have to do that) and then look at it from a 3rd person's point of view so that they can understand each other better. balance is the key. quarrels and jokes happening at the same time confuses me. it's fucking scary. i can't get to sleep again.

dear god, please bless everyone especially my family and friends.

my left toes still hurts now. well, i hope it will be ok soon, if not it's like my right ankle now and i wonder when will it recover. it sucks. but i should be grateful that it didn't break my toes.

i guess all of us have to move on in life at one point of time, it's only just when. it might take some time but you can do it. :)

i'm easily influenced. reading my classmates' blog makes me want to blog just for the sake of it. taking long 963 bus ride alone to vivocity was depressing. i wanted to approach mrs law in vivocity but i need the toilet urgently and then i lost her. she's one of my favourite teacher and the one i let down for o's chem too. sitting by the sea taking an hour long long john silver dinner alone makes people think you're a pervert/lunatic espcially when there are couples everywhere.

but standing on the barricade, feeling the sea breeze while looking at the monorails and cars travelling past the gateway was therapeutic especially when i was so frustrated and getting a headache because i do not know what to get. it was so awkward that one of the pull and bear staff recognised me and must be thinking - "why this stupid boy walk in and out for five times and not buy anything. no money don't enter the shop la. a piece of tee only cost $20++ still take so long decide. customers like him should go and die."

well, i guess soccer and window shopping doesn't relieve my pain anymore, i need to find a new solution. i just have a weird house.