working part time doesn't help me to be self sufficient. growing up really sucks. now i know why people don't bother to exercise when they are adults. why you should learn how to be independent. you don't even have time for yourself to sleep yet you can't survive. this world is totaly screwed up.

Does everybody's life revolve around surviving and looking good only to hope that we will have enough money for our retirement? is that our ultimate goal in life? does anyone really give a damn? now the government says even after 65, you can't retire. by that time, you are too old to go backpacking around the world only to know that you wasted your prime years taking care of your children and surviving. think for a moment how many of us are strong enough to do that even if we do not understand how things work in future?

what will the world become? earth will be a haunted and lifeless place sooner or later. so much for the self proclaimed achievements till everyone gets lost. so i prefer the aliens to invade earth right now to save us. god bless.

maybe it's because of the void that i couldn't fill in. i can't feel happy. it's been 3 years. not that i did not do anything, though i have to admit not much was done. but there's some things that id like to try but can't try, to mask this void. it's still empty. even soccer can't help now.

perharps it will be like this forever. is this how a life-time regret is supposed to be?

how can i not try to feel anything and continue to live on with reality? it's just human instinct. i can't control how i feel. it is living dead, worse than being dead.