although the probability of me failing the exam later is 50% (lateness probability is also 50%) , but seeing the smile on my mum's face while watching guess guess guess on channel u is worth it. so pure, so innocent like a child.

i love my mum.

happy birthday to my brother and lee yi wei.

i think i'm screwed for exams and god might not help me again since i deserve it.
i realised sadness can turn into obsession and then into hatred.
i just can't get down to study for 10 mins. hope i won't fail my exams.

i hope i won't get emo and destroyed everything they planned for jiayi later. it's always me and me although it's not my birthday.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwwx2kfSa6Q&NR

although this is nothing really related to me, but it never fails to make me tear and sometimes think back of the past. i feel like such a anti social failure. i want to live in it, not memories. but how?

i was horny but not now because of the last post..

maybe i'm not open-minded or traditional or whatever you call that. but after the last post yue chin put up. it drives me nuts and left me thinking about something for a while. i want to be her younger brother or cousin or boyfriend. hahaha.
why am i born so short and ulgy and stupid and unfit?

i'm so pathetic that i talk to myself.

i totally dislike my father's attitude. he sucks. after peeling his dead skin on his feet, he doesn't wash his hands and went to touch the switches all over the house. the worse was he didn't showered (definitely) or changed(maybe) for 3 days since he didn't come home. he even tried to deny what he did and went to use wet tissue paper to clean all over the switch. i think there's something very fucking wrong with him. he just had another fucking accident outside knocking don't know what freaking car.

I REALLY DOESN'T WANT HIM TO COME BACK HOME EVERYNIGHT, COME BACK WHENEVER I'M IN SCHOOL OR OUTSIDE.

i've been waiting for him to say he doesn't want to provide for this family so that i will be forced to work and earn my own living.

happy birthday audrea lan. i hope you're alright and do not do anything silly at the other end of the world. god bless.

i skipped two different lessons in three days, landscape managment lecture and property management tutorial, a total of 3 hours. i'm scared i will fail propert management exam.

i saw the same girl at the balik kapmpong bazaard today. she was wearing a navy blue cotton knitted sweater and a bright green billabong or ripcurl( i can't remember) mini skirt. she is not that tall but is attractive and most probably from mass comm. smart. also tanned skin.

today, elfie and i jogged (4km) and went to the gym for a while to do 'upside down' situps (i don't know what you call that).

my right knee hurts and is still hurting now. it's starting to screw up everytime i run or play soccer recently. i was wondering whether the dislocation/bulging bone in my left knee is a blessing in disguise since it doesn't hurts except that i can't kneel down on it.

i surfed some sites related to soccer and forgot the time till now. haven't started on my work and is having 9am lesson tomorrow. and i think i have to redo tutorial 7 since there's no time to do so tomorrow as it's torn when i lent kim wei.

i so feel like not doing any work but go to sleep right now.

there's so much work to do, i don't know where to start. i want to run, swim, play soccer and grow taller yet i can't afford to fail my modules.