it's been more than a month since i blogged. this semester, i feel that the lecturers do not really teach that well or maybe it's just me that can't absorb what's going on though i pay attention in class. the only lesson i enjoyed is the social psychology module taught by desmond wee. i think i'm doomed for the individual presentation on tuesday.

common test is this week and next but i haven't started studyinig. i've got totally almost no interest. i think i might fail some modules. no more a or b or c. life has not been bringing me to anywhere. i still can't take the intiative to do something first, afraid that it might offend/affect others. i've got to know recognise the face of more people knowing their names in school, but that doesn't help. some others i know online did a better job though.

the inter jc competitions of soccer, hockey,netball,basketball, badminton has ended. this time round, i never never saw a match being played. tears of joy and sadness. some people didn't make it to their wish of having 8 years of gold medals on this last competition. some came back and fought for gold, that they reigned for many years. some never gave up despite knowing that their opponent is going to win. some was torn apart when they had to play against their friends from secondary school. it's only just been a week or two... some are already healed, some are not. some are having mid year exams, some are having their after the june holidays.

and i never had a chance to feel like any one of them since 6 years ago. i'm still as lifeless as ever. totally numb living in self fulling prophecy. just like my dad whom i don't even know whether he's improving or not.

i've signed up for the vietnam community service trip in september hoping that it will help me to realise that leading a simple life is nothing bad but good, look at the kids over there. but that will definetely burn a hole in my parents' pocket.