i've found another person who share the same birthday as me though i do not know her at all. haha. happy belated birthday atalia. also, have a speedy recovery.

although i might fail or just pass my law. i still want to thank Him. this is my 3rd consecutive day from restraining to further temptations. =)

Thanks, Anmin.

happy birthday to:
Lim Zhi Hao
Loh Nyean Chek
Eileen Kiew

belated birthday to:
Aw Pei Shan
Yeo Pui Sze, Yvonne

went cycling at east coast park with the kelly,peishan, peishan's sister, yvonne,puay tze after econs exam yesterday. i'm getting at least 70+ for it, hopfully an A.

after that, we went marche to have dinner. zhenglong, alex, chong jun, thien hoon joined us.
i saw abel too. he's changed alot, afro hairstyle. ok, i shldn't judge others since i get together with him for so many years. it's just a pity.

i was at civic at 9+pm, maybe i walked past blinkymummy and i didn't know... remembered seeing someone taking the escalator hurriedly on the second level at wisma while walking to far east or it might be my illusion after reading her blog.

i don't know how i felt when they handed me the present at ting bahru before going east coast. it wasn't that surprising that they will remember my birthday and gave me presents. but i didn't think much abt my birthday, so it's a lil surprising that they will bother?

i don't know how to say. nonetheless, i appreciated it alot. it's not much better that it's a must to study for law exam today or drowning in my sorrow alone listening to music last year at this day.

this shirt that they went to changed and caused so much trouble/sianness to the people after dinner. thanks peishan!




a new wallet(which came in super handy since my old and tattered wallet is 5yrs old now) and another new shirt.



thanks alot to those who have wished me.

i'm still struggling.

Melvin. -- [noun]: A level headed person who always makes the wrong decision 'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Melvin. -- [noun]: A person of questionable sanity who starts their own cult 'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Melvin Koo -- [noun]: A deadly strain of projectiile vomit 'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Koo Fu Shun, Melvin -- [noun]: A human transformer (Robot in disguise) 'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

i'm worried for audrea though i only know her online. but there's lust? so it's not really considered as totally care. being in a broken family is no fun, she's like left alone with a 'stranger' whom she totally trust now,who might be good or might have ulterior motive behind him. what should i do?

i want to study, i think i can. but if i don't help (how can i help and how i get about doing that) to solve her problem, i feel guilty. i can't even help myself, and i always want to help others when this world doesn't care much. i can't stop.
freaking screwed thinking again.

i think living in america is not that good afterall. i should be grateful.
this is a www how can i go about asking people. but it should be kept confidential. crazy.

i'm addicted to blinkmummy's blog again. i think i having a crush on her. this is madness. haha. imagine if i'm her colleague... doubt so. by the time i graduate, serve ns, get into uni(unless i don't change my course), come out to work. she's probably married. 12yrs gap, never club before, and screwed up thinking of being a pri sch kid once again.
ah. time to watch LOST. something to get my mind out of all these thoughts i can't solve and that is slowly killing me every year.

my head doesn't hurt that much. i think it's the usage of the computer. ok, i can feel it coming back. anyway, thank god. it's not so hurtful now. my test 2hrs from now. i'll pass it, but getting 100 is quite a a little problem. so no AD for this module.

i'm still sick.
my head hurts like mad yesterday.
sorry, god. i didn't mean to put you down in the previous entry.
all the best to my accounting test tmr.

god likes to play a fool out of me. i'm freaking sick now. this sucks.

i had the worst flu of my life yesterday with it dripping down nonstop like water from the tap and sneezed more than 10+ times in a day in my life..
and just now, i realised that i have a bone pertruding out of my thumb in the middle. it's a red circle print. and i don't know why my hands are suddenly so dry even i washed it after touching the balcony's window grill which is rusty and old.

i do not have a dysfunctional family. it's just me who can't handle minor problems which is major problems to me. i was surprised my brother said sorry first while i was washing my boots. i didn't expect him to do that. anyway, i was comtemplating whether to apologise to him while washing my boots. the next few weeks is going to be worse i guess.

now i do not have the mood to do my work. my mood is always flutuating like fuck.

there's so much work to do that before i get started i just can't stop thinking of the other work especially screwed up plans.

freak it.

i can't fucking be a parent in future.

it's so damn fucking bored to use fuck and i can't fucking do the fucking work now.

my fucking brain is so fucked up that it is so fucking dysfunctional even when i'm doing this fucking entry without a fucking good reason.

it just doesn't fucking help me in any fucking way.

i can't do any fucking thing now since there's nothing fucking nice to do or interest me that will not drain my fucking energy.

it is my fucking fault that i flare up just now. but can't they fucking give way to each other. so what if one is a parent and another is going thru fucking puberty.

I FUCKING HATE TO GROW UP.

fucking bored day.

dysfunctional family.

i'm fucking myself for the past 3 fucking years in a fucking damn course in np with not so fucking environment.

fucking work which is so much to do.

fuck is not a nice word to use. it doesn't mean anyhthing to me now.

FUCK IT.

nothing much this week except it's ver busy. i still remember how i fell down during econs lecture last week in between ngiap yan and june, putting my hands on ny's table balancing myself.

i slept for about 12hrs on wednesday and abt 16hrs just now.

i had a bad dream about the national exam just now.

i don't know how joy and jasmine(yongkai's friend whom i don't know) is in my house [ in this case, it is joy's house in the dream]. it is the day when they had to take their a levels exams. suddenly, joy just rushed out of the house and jasmine followed. i followed them. in the lift, joy told me how she didn't want to take the a levels and how scared she was. upon reaching the ground floor, joy begin to tear. jasmine and i couldn't control and our eyes were red. we begin to run away. i had to throw my black airwalk bag aside and chase to follow up.

halfway through reaching the playground, i being rational , tried to stop them and convinced them to take the a levels. it was chaotic and i saw joy teared like nobody's business. it was after one round of chasing joy around the void deck before help was sought from joy's chaffeur to stop them. he saw us running away from the carpark and chased after us.

it took some time before joy walked back to the carpark and jasmine just followed us. the both cars at the '190' and '191 or 189' parking lot and couldn't start. it was 12.58pm and the exams starts at 1+pm. during that time, i hurrily went around to pick up my stuff which were scattered all around the slope, void deck, carpark [i don't know how my things were scattered around like that].

joy's dad came down. i don't know why he came down [i never saw joy's dad before but her dad in the dream is someone i saw before but i don't know him]. he knew nothing about the running away as joy had calmed down after that, expecially when after i talked about her dream being a surgeon. he asked the chaffeur what happened to the cars.

i continued to pick up my things while joy's dad inspected the car. they drove off after that. when i reached that parking lot that they car had park in, picking up my pencil or calculator, i realised i was left alone. i didn't know why i was in sajc uniform. it just struck me that i'm a poly student. i woke up.

this dream is quite relevant. o levels results was just yesterday. i'm still thinking of going to jc. i miss joy. and i know why she could run so fast already, because she's the captain of sajc touch rugby now. i don't know why jasmine is over there but i can roughly know why. because she's in sajc in the 1st 3 mths. i just don't know why my house became's joy's house, it was so neatly packed up in the dream. also, why am i in her hosue when i'm not taking the a levels.

i'm still thinking whether should i transfer to rp to study diploma in sports and health sciences or diploma in sports and leisure management.

i think today is going to be another wasted day of my life since i've alreayd wasted 1000++ days out of the 6000++ days i'm on earth.

i went to choa chu kang gymnasium today. my first time. it's so cool. haha. air-coned. no wonder elfie wanted to go there. not like school though it's quite waste of money $1.50. there's so many different kind of people over there, all shape and sizes , tall or short, female or male.

wahaha. i ran 4.84km in 1/2 hr, my aim was to run 5km. but then oh well, i should be happy. i thought i can't even complete 2.4km at first. i should not look down on myself so much anymore. but then it's air-coned so i'm not surprised if i can perform better.

it's good to know that there's a nearby gym. i shall go there every now and then. there's a track for me to run if i don't want to pay. haha. yeah.

she dressed in a black cotton sweater wearing light brown somehow golden spots white top inside with a matching skirt which was short. she thanked me for holding on the door on the way to law tutorial. she also talked to me somehow. not really talk but ask me to join the guys in debating with mrs lee. she was asked to answer qns 1b and she didn't do her law tutorial. anyway, i'm glad she's not hostile to me. chin wei told me she dressed up like a bank officer yesterday. i wished i could see her in formal clothes. she's quite restless now. i wonder why. or maybe she's too tired? hope she will get better...

today i missed a chance to accompany mich to the bus stop. i think she knows that i'm having a crush on her. when she walk past me, she didn't say hi or smile to me anymore. she didn't talked to me since the project and she saw me looking at her during lectures.

i'm thinking whether should i get involved in a drama or film production. i find it quite fun to be in video cam. or all these are just temporary fun that i seek because of the state i'm in now.

i screwed upself up by folding up my sleeve and wearing striped shirt. i also screwed the rest up because i give them flash cards for presentation. but i'm glad it's over and done with.