i ate about 50 prawns within three days. it is a new record for eating the most number of prawns in my entire life, and eating them in two alternate days. i hope i will die of high cholestrol.

This is scary. Someone just screamed. I supposed it's my sister. I was sorry that i kicked her when i walked up the stairs. I knew she was in pain, but i ignored her. It was to teach her a lesson when she should not interfere in what i was doing just now to my brother. I had some ego problem and i didn't apologised to her. I hope she is alright. I didn't mean to do that...

Anyway, during dinner at aunt jacqueline's house. I observed that my paternal grandfather was so lonely. No one talked to him at all. I could see that he was upset from his expression. Yet he was thinking or anxious about something. I supposed he was thinking why he was sitting alone behind my relatives listening to their conversation. I would not want to be neglected like how he is now. I wanted to talk to him but i was too scared. I feel rather guilty now. It was not anyone's fault if he didn't really brought him my uncles and aunts in the right way. Ordering them to do what he thinks is right, yet not telling them why and caned them. It is how it works in the past. Okay, this shall be an entry on my blog for today.

An entry i did on the dreamweaver for my iwd assignment.

i lend mich my calculator today.
i can't stop stop peeping at her all the time during school.
i hope she will pass els retest.
i wonder does jiayi and evon knows whether i'm into mich now.
these few days are so busy, i shouldn't have stoned.
but it was good, at at i'm doing something productive i hoped though i'm v stressed.
talked to mr ho on monday.
still quite lost actually.

project almost killed me. i'm sorry for delaying my work, screwed up the printing. but it was good. i got to talk to michelle more. she's so adorable that makes me want to accompany her to the busstop everday. yesterday was quite exciting, doing project in the dawn with grp members. but i can't take stress. stress only screw me up even worse. i think i know who is a true friend to me. i want to thank kevin for letting me staying over the whole night to print out the papers even though i informed him last min. i really appreciate it. if not i don't know what to do, maybe just sit down and cry/ apologising profusely to my classmate... if he was chee heng, it would be better.

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"Hey, ain't life wonderful? Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful... Isn't it wonderful now?"

I close my eyes when I get too sad
I think thoughts that I know are bad
Close my eyes and I count to ten
Hope it's over when I open them

I want the things that I had before
Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door
I wish I could count to ten
Make everything be wonderful again

Hope my mom and I hope my dad
Will figure out why they get so mad
Hear them scream, I hear them fight
They say bad words that make me wanna cry
Close my eyes when I go to bed
And I dream of angels who make me smile
I feel better when I hear them say
Everything will be wonderful someday

Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world's so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
Tell me everything is wonderful now

Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now

I go to school and I run and play
I tell the kids that it's all okay
I laugh aloud so my friends won't know
When the bell rings I just don't wanna go home

Go to my room and I close my eyes
I make believe that I have a new life
I don't believe you when you say
Everything will be wonderful someday

Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world is so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
When you tell me everything is wonderful now

No
No, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now
No
No, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now

I don't wanna hear you say
That I will understand someday
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna hear you say
You both have grown in a different way
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna meet your friends
And I don't wanna start over again
I just want my life to be the same
Just like it used to be
Some days I hate everything
I hate everything
Everyone and everything
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now

I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now

shopping makes me sleeps soundly at night after reaching house, leaving my com on and people msging me like mad. i totally can't withstand not sleeping after a day's of window shooping with the female classmates. the taxi driver uncle was cool. we had a conversation and i like it. his daughters are so smart and but he still have to work throughout the night like superman. he made my day and make me realised that what i'm learning now will come in handy in future.

but my future seems so bleak still.

i'm tired again.

met up with weiru,kelly,valen,joseph,lee yeung,puay tze for dinner. jason didn't changed at all, except that his body built was better. i thought i can feel better but in the end i felt extra towards the end.

getting all emo or thinking about jc does me no good and it just can't get off my damn head. a friend from teenfx said i should go to see a counsellor. gd morning/night world.

i think i just know yong kai is the captain of the acjc soccer team from information in friendster.
just want to wish him all the best for the coming competition this year. it's a great honour to know such a good person.
tests is starting in four and half hours time. may god bless me even though i just read through the notes.
maybe i ought to fail and drop out of school and just join a soccer club or start working or escape to melbourne if my parents and relatives allowed.

nonetheless, mr cher yong en, edmund. happy birthday!

my paternal grandaunt just passed away.
i have never seen her before nor heard my parents mentioned her before.

i've not studied and almost all the blogs talk about their new year resolution, summing up of 2005, i've nothing.
but worse of all, i wonder how this news will affect my dad. i was playing soccer when they received the news.
what a great start to a new year.