oh yes, and to add. i added another 3 more very visible scars on my right knee last wednesday.

i can't be a handsome boy anymore.
but i wasn't handsome in the first place. ok, since i was secondary 3 then i become ugly.

i'm really starting to regret to take up FMB and not appealing in the first place because of my hesitation. couldn't blame anyone in future if i don't do well. yes, i will start nagging and tell my mum like how i did when i joined the ncc. this time round, i have no one to blame. i hate growing up. how? i also can't appeal now already.

business studies have so many students? how am i going to excel in it?
or maybe i should learn how to like and appreciate drawing and also physics.
i really need lee yeung's help this time.
sigh.


and yes, i think i sprained my left ankle for the first time in my entire life 3 weeks ago and it's still not ok but i continue to play soccer.
today, i think i sprained my second toes. it's so swollen . and i did not take my medicine regularly after i saw the doctor that time since i was at home and i dun take my breakfast or lunch.
shld i continue with the medicine?


i just don't know why i'm so prone to injuries nowadays.

i don't want to lose the motivation/interest to play soccer even when i reach 30. even if i'm not a professional soccer player.

but injuries are wearing me down. i just admire david beckham. broken toe. yet still play so well. same as ronaldo. but they're different. they have physio. i dun have.

i hope all's well.

i still wished i could enter a jc.

and just as i read the newspaper about the 1st 3mth jc thingy. i realised that last year, i didn't know that prelims results will affect the chances of me entering the 1st 3mths jc. i'm dumb.

oh yes, loh wanying rgs. lol. bball player. her name appeared on the newspaper.


well, carrie chong is from TP. jamie yeo is from NP. so is thomas ong!

=)



pray for my ankle and toe.

don't have the feeling of being true now.
heck.
as in i'm not telling lies. but just can't say what i feel in my heart cos it's over.

i'm getting further and further away from what i want to do.

happy to get posted to np. cos some of my friends whos r4 is better than me was unsuccessful in application. hope they can get in somewhere too.

business studies? i want. but then i hesitated. so din appeal.
but the problem is there's so many pple take the course. how to excel in it?
only thing is that when graduate from np, there's many job available cos it's a general diploma tho the pay might be quite low.

hope i will get to like studying pipes and electricity and drawing of houses.



god bless me.

Did You Know:Anxiety and anger can intensify acne.
i dunno.
no wonder my face sux.

Did You Know:Good sleep habits and good nutrition can help reduce acne.
one reason why my face sux.




Does Your Self-Esteem Need a Makeover?
Your self-esteem is In Great Shape

Good for you! Your self-esteem looks pretty healthy to us! Maybe you don't consider yourself a total rock star, but our guess is that others do! Regardless of what other people think, you know that you're pretty darn great.You also know that a big part of feeling good and looking good is taking care of yourself and treating your body right. The key is in your attitude and not freaking out when you don't get the greatest grade on a test or when someone else has the same outfit on as you. You take it in stride and see that it's the big picture that matters most. Your mature and confident approach will surely take you straight to the top in anything you do. Congrats! Keep it up!

yes and no. just regretted what i did in the past. and my sec sch. which totally changed me.
if i were continue to be fussy and clean, i will attract lots of girls.
if i din go that sch, i will be in sch soccer team.
if i din go that sch, i will not be online now.
if i din go that sch, i will not have anything that i will not be able to let go.
if.........................












boring.




freak.






self pitying myself?


maybe.




shit.
it.
freak
it.
damn
it.


life is weird.
so simple yet so complex.
wth.

tmr going to play soccer. and eat sakee sushi with jiawang that gang.
but i dun think i will be happy and be myself.
but at least i will get to go out.
and waste money.
i think i can sleep, but i don't want to. or it is a habit already. i don't want to kill my stamina and health by staying up late.

and i just hope that rosanne han will smile like linda liao. like she smile in CHASE.

and i find that the show is somehow what she's experiencing now.
except that she's not utt and she don't demand an apology.
hope she will be alright. it's been one year.
i just wondering.

if the boy like her so much, and he knows she don't like him. why make her worry about him.

or

is she too sensitive that she worry too much for the boy, but she doesn't like him in anyway and giving him false hope for him to carry on?

no one's fault i think. but i want to blame. i will definitely blame it on the boy.

and what about the boy that she likes?

doesn't he like her?

i know she's not hurting any innocent boy.

everyone is pretending.

i don't want to be one of them in future.

just be myself in the past.

but it's just so difficult to let go out the past or to go back to the past.


and all i do now is care for girls only.

flirty freak?


maybe.















please take care of yrself.

i think i know why blogging has lost its meaning. cos at first when i blog, i thought it was fun to seek attention from another person. after the get real! which interviewed xiaxue. i alraedy lost the meaning for blogging. or u shld say, i have nvr had a meaning for blogging.

well, i know now at least lian jie's mum is not that jialet as i thought. she gave me $20 and ask me to keep without telling my mum, so that i can go out with my friends. i dun feel that good cos i dun want to owe her anything. but it's just out of her that she give me. so i accepted. aunty kwok ing [ dunno how to spell ur name also. =X], thanks alot!

i suddenly have the urge to go out with friends. of cos with plan in mind. as in they plan. dun just go walk walk only. or play pool or anything. hope can have heart to heart talk better. but why leh? i dunno. no one i really comfortable with. chee heng, kevin, ivan. all also dun really like to go out. i want to go sentosa to sit the monorail. and wear boardshorts to play beach volleyball. but then i'm shy. and i dun have one boardshorts. and i dun have figure. freak. but if someone will go with me, i wun mind. malcolm, is going with his cell grp friends on thurs. but i duno they at all. and it will be awkward.







i also hope i can go out with people in yanziunlimited. so long nvr see them.









and my online buddies... wondering how are they getting on?











and most importantly, my family....











but i dun seem to really care abt them.


i care even more for rosanne. keep thinking abt her being sad only. dunno why.





but then she's so troubled by her love life.


the guy that likes her .

and the guy that she likes.







the same situation when i was p6... but it din daunt on me for 1yr like her.
instead, i made a girl cry.





so my retribution for doing that is not getting into jc, being short, ugly and stupid.










or maybe not.






maybe something worse is yet to happen.










money is really the freaking root of all evil.







became so numb that i dunno how am i supposed to feel.









and yes, i'm trying to make myself numb now.








to make myself miserable.






for myself.








not sad or depressed nor happy .








u train people how to treat u by how u treat urself. - martin lutte.










miss sng.
miss lau.
mr dt.
mrs lui.
mrs law.
leonard cheong.
mdm hong.
mrs lee.
mr ore.
miss joyce quek.
miss serene lim.
ms lim hee hwa.
ms lim chio may.
mr aloysius loh.
mr ooi.
mrs looi.







i dunno wth i name the teachers for. and i know i miss out some teachers.

ok, thanks for teaching me all these 17+years . to my friends,relatives,teachers,strangers,accident,incident,sadness,sorrow,happiness,salty,sour.







and the singer whose song is being played on the com right now. sometimes love ain't enough.
sunyanzi,stefanie.
sng ee tze.
duno.
wadever.








oh ya, mr.derick wong.








haha.













































i'm just typing for fun. to waste my time. to try to tired myself so that i can freaking slp.













































who do i really like?



who do i really love?





what the heck am i wasting my life?






how can i ask melody chong for advise on how she can get over her probelm. tho i dunno what's the problem is abt. but it's related to o's. and her results have been very good alll along.

so what is she trying to do?

i dun dare to ask her

if ask, will make her sad.

if dun ask, i nvr learn.





but then i'm not close to her also.

how can i start opening my bloody moiuth?


sboring.

crao thaat u akk tyoed,


abd u ckised nyt eytes aeyes.

freaking last three sentence..

retype.

boring.
crap that i all typed,
and i closed my eyes all along.
































rachel tan. u17 netball. yan xin?



why so funny.



suddenly appear.



but her blogskin is nice...


i want to use it as my also.
but not originality...
but do i have it ini the first place?


lol. and i din stalk her.






ok, hope no one spreads this entry arnd....
she will be freaked out.
i just evny national players that's all.
tho she have her own problems. but still.
stronger than me in everyway.

except being stuborn?

























nothing to do.
so freaking bored.

screwed up blogger. i was so happy lor.
nvm. shall not let this affect my mood. bye.